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'It was an early-retirement offer I couldn't turn down. They threw a pile of money my way, asked me to disappear in a puff of smoke, and before they could change their minds, I was gone!'
'He quickly became irreplaceable when we saw the size of his severance package.'
Golden Parachutes for Middle Managers
'Sorry, you don't qualify for the early retirement package. You're too old.'
"So then I thought why don't we just enjoy our pension flexibility now?"
"The board wants me to retire. They offered me a golden parachute pants deal."
Ed becomes fully vested in his company's retirement plan.
'Of course, the real money is after you leave the throne and become a lobbyist.'
"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job!"
"When you're too old to work here I will send you to the dog food factory...as dog food."
"I just found out the amount of my monthly pension. They should rename this office the INHUMAN relations department!"
"I can't give you a golden handshake, Perkins, but I'll wave you a fond farewell from my office window."
"I'm prepared to offer you a severance package..."
'The golden parachutes are all gone. You'll have to settle for a golden lifejacket.'
'When I retire I hope for a soft landing.'
'We don't offer a retirement plan, but when you turn 65, no more required overtime!'
You're fortunate to have reached your Golden Years. You want the Golden Handcuffs or Golden Parachute?
'The tender is your severance package, Queequeg. Bon voyage!'
'No, Hal, you can't share my retirement package.'
'We were going to give you a severance package, but we used it to throw you this retirement party instead.'
"... And we can offer you twice your previous salary. Providing you last worked in 1985 that is."
"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."