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Voodoo for Today
Families barbecue in their back yards while a pagan ritual sacrifice takes place.
Tags:barbecue, barbecues, barbecuing, grill, grills, grilling, cookout, cookouts, 4th of july, fourth of july, independence day, summer, summers, summer solstice, back yard, back yards, sacrifice, sacrifices, animal sacrifice, animal sacrifices, sacrificing, sacred cow, sacred cows, rite, rites, pagan, pagans, paganism
Tags:hopscotch, summon, summons, spell, spells, magic spell, magic spells, incantation, incantations, satan, devil, demon, demons, demon worship, devil worship, accident, accidents, accidental, call, calls, calling, satanic, ritual, rituals, rite, rites, satanic, satanism, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, mishap, mishaps
Boat Christening vs. Boat Bris
Tags:christen, christens, christening, bris, circumcise, circumcises, circumcising, circumcision, circumcisions, jewish, ship, ships, boat, boats, mohel, mohels, orthodox, jewish, judaism, rite, rites, rite of passage, rites of passage, sailor, sailors, ceremony, ceremonies, bow, bows, champagne bottle, champagne bottles, jibboom, jibbooms, shpasik, jtoons
'And if you like we can arrange for you to receive next to last rites on the morning of your surgery.'
"But 'Tibetan Sky Burial' sounded so cool."
Tags:sky burial, sky burials, tibetan sky burial, tibetan sky burials, buddhist, buddhists, buddhism, funeral, funeral practice, funeral practices, rite, rites, anthropologist, anthropologists, anthropology, superficial, superficiality, westerner, westerners, presume, presumptuous, uneducated, expectation, expectations, high expectations, vulture, vultures, ignorant, ignorance, new age, appropriate, appropriates, appropriating, appropriation
"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"
"And now The Reverend Higgins will beat the love of God into each and every one of you."
Tags:priest, priests, vicar, vicars, holy man, holy men, church, churches, church service, mass, church mass, worship, worshiper, worshipers, reverend, reverends, holy father, pray, prayer, prayers, tough love, rite, rites, ritual, rituals, cant, boxing, boxing gloves, pugilist, pugilism, pugilists, religious rites, religious vows, religious worship, bishop, bishops, archbishop, archbishops, church goer, church goers, sunday service, sunday mass, evensong
"It was peaceful - I listed his faults the one last time and he drifted away."
Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth
Tags:confession, confessional booth, confessional booths, confessions, sins, private, privacy, personal, secret, secrets, confession, confess, confessional, confessional booth, catholic, roman catholic, christian, priest, priests, god, joke, jokes, joker, jokers, religious rites, religious rite, religious practices, religious dogma, superstition, rite, rites, roman catholics, roman catholicism
Baptisms should always have ground rules: "Make this quick, I can only hold my breath for 17 seconds."
"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"
"For Lent, I'm giving up the other parts of my religion."
'I hear they wrote their own vows.'
"Attendance is way up since they substituted fortune cookies for those funny little wafers."
'No fish, but Junior made his first burp word.'
'Has the font been swabbed for MRSA'
'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'
'The Egyptians buried their kings with a huge supply of beer. I asked Sue to do the same for me, but she said where I'm going it won't keep.'
'I think I just blew my diet. Do you know what the glycemic index is for a communion host?'
'Granted it's not as spectacular as a pyramid but it saves an awful lot of money.'
'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'
Skier being read last rites.
"I'm in for bigamy..."