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"Sorry I'm late, boss. I hit a deer and had to make it look like an accident."
The old man and the forest
"You got this."
Tags:trap, traps, road, roads, highway, highways, roadkill, road kill, accident, deer strike, deer, buck, bucks, stag, stags, road hunt, grim, grim reaper, death, died, die, dead, convince, not convinced, car, cars, traffic, truck, trucks, trucking, trucker, it's a trap, fate, cruel fate, nature, natural, natural selection
"The first eight times it was curiosity. The last time I was run over."
Tags:cat, cats, pet cat, pet cats, cat lover, cat lovers, cat owner, cat owners, animal heaven, curiosity killed the cat, nine lives, cats nine lives, cat's nine lives, pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, dying, died, dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, roadkill, road kill, road-kill, run over, getting run over
This week on The Antique Roadkill
Tags:hotdog, hotdogs, hotdog stand, hotdog stands, hotdog cart, hotdog carts, street food, hot dog, hot dogs, hot dog vendor, hot dog vendors, roadside, roadside food, roadside cart, roadside carts, roadkill, road kill, unhygienic, food hygiene, food hygiene standards, food hygiene rules, food safety, honesty, honest, transparent, transparency, roadkill food, road kill food, roadkill cuisine, road kill cuisine, road-ill, green issues, disgust, disgusted
'Are you sure we cross here? It's just a picture of a deer.'
"Go tell the kids dinner's almost ready."
'What goes better with road kill...red or white?'
"How can you cross the road so decisively? I have to stop halfway across every time to rethink it."
Tags:chicken, squirrel, chickens, squirrels, roadkill, road kill, farm animal, farm animals, crossing the road, crosses the road, cross the road, road crossing, road crossings, decisive, decisiveness, uncertain, uncertainty, indecisive, indecisiveness, stop, stops, stopping, stopping halfway, stops halfway, rethink, rethinks, rethinking, joke, jokes, classic joke, classic jokes
'I just invented it yesterday and today I already hit a deer!'
'Oh boy.. WHEELS ON MEALS!'
"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"
'Venison steaks for a year! Now, Mikey will tell you the bad news.'
Car Crossing Sign
"Found meat is income."
Tags:tax, taxes, paying taxes, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, found money, found meat, road kill, roadkill, neanderthal, neanderthals, cave men, cave man, cavemen, caveman, cave dweller, cave dwellers, ancient history, stone age, the stone age, early man
'Oh no! There's a dinosaur on the track.'
"It would be a lot more fair if traffic would occasionally run out in front of us."
"Be we eat dead animals. You can't go vegan!"
Tags:roadkill, roadkills, road-kill, road-kills, road kill, road kills, vulture, vultures, scavenger, scavengers, alternative lifestyle, alternative lifestyles, vegan, vegans, vegetarian, vegetarians, lifestyle choice, lifestyle choices, food chain, food chains, rebel, rebels, rebellion, rebellions, teen, teens, teenage, youthful
"Are we going to do the five second rule?"
"Is he still playing?"
"He never heard the Prius coming."
'Darn rescuers! Always spoiling things for us!'