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'Really, Frank... The late news is so depressing - and it's the same thing every night... Why do you even turn it on?'
Tags:armadillo, armadillos, news, reporter, reporters, roadkill, roadkills, road, roads, kill, kills, depress, depresses, depressing, depression, story, stories, run over, ran over, runs over, repeat, repeats, repetitive, repetition, repetitions, accident, accidents, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Well of course we don't all freeze up in the spotlight."
Tags:deer, caught in the headlights, headlight, headlights, freeze, rabbit in the headlights, driver, driving, drives, roadkill, spotlight, freeze in the spotlight, dancer, dancers, entertainer, entertainers, drama, performing, performer, performers, performance, pun, puns, wordplay, play on words, showbiz
"Sorry I'm late, boss. I hit a deer and had to make it look like an accident."
"He's having an identity crisis. He fears he hit a polar bear with his Prius."
Tags:crisis, crises, identity crisis, crisis of confidence, sense of self, self image, self images, self esteem, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, activist, activists, activism, liberal, liberals, environmentally conscious, environmentally friendly, roadkill, prius driver, driver, drivers, driving
Back just a liiiittle more... Okay, perfect. Now hooold it... Hoooold it...
Tags:vulture, vultures, bird, birds, truck, trucks, lorry, lorries, road, roads, roadside, portrait, portraits, photograph, photographs, photos, photo, photographer, photographers, armadillo, armadillos, accident, kill, kills, killing, murder, murders, murderers, plan, plans, roadkill, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"It's all roadkill, and never a word about the chickens who get to the other side!"
Tags:joke, jokes, why did the chicken cross the road, bad news, media, media coverage, bias, biased, sensational, sensationalist, sensationalism, journalist, journalists, journalism, complain, complains, complaining, complaint, complaints, gripe, gripes, griping, roadkill, cross the road, crossing the road, exaggeration, exaggerate, exaggerates, exaggerating, danger, dangers, caution
"Oooooo, …. A pillow!"
Tags:history, historical, pre-history, pre-historical, prehistory, prehistorical, stone age, bc, b.c., before christ, paleolithic, palaeolithic, cave-dweller, cave dwellers, cavemen, caveman, cavewoman, cavewomen, neanderthal, neanderthals, early humans, hunter-gatherer, hunter-gatherers, present, present, gift, gifts, pillow, pillows, dead animal, roadkill
"You got this."
Tags:trap, traps, road, roads, highway, highways, roadkill, road kill, accident, deer strike, deer, buck, bucks, stag, stags, road hunt, grim, grim reaper, death, died, die, dead, convince, not convinced, car, cars, traffic, truck, trucks, trucking, trucker, it's a trap, fate, cruel fate, nature, natural, natural selection
"The first eight times it was curiosity. The last time I was run over."
Tags:cat, cats, pet cat, pet cats, cat lover, cat lovers, cat owner, cat owners, animal heaven, curiosity killed the cat, nine lives, cats nine lives, cat's nine lives, pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, dying, died, dog, dogs, puppy, puppies, roadkill, road kill, road-kill, run over, getting run over
"When I hit the switch, we'll see what they look like in the hi-beams."
Tags:hi beam, hi beams, hi-beam, hi-beams, headlight, headlights, deer in the headlights, deer, deers, venison, role reversal, role reversals, role-reversal, revenge, vengeance, bloodsport, bloodsports, blood-sport, blood-sports, deer hunting, deer hunter, deer hunters, hunter, hunters, hunting, roadkill, roadkills, road-kill, road-kills
This week on The Antique Roadkill
Tags:hotdog, hotdogs, hotdog stand, hotdog stands, hotdog cart, hotdog carts, street food, hot dog, hot dogs, hot dog vendor, hot dog vendors, roadside, roadside food, roadside cart, roadside carts, roadkill, road kill, unhygienic, food hygiene, food hygiene standards, food hygiene rules, food safety, honesty, honest, transparent, transparency, roadkill food, road kill food, roadkill cuisine, road kill cuisine, road-ill, green issues, disgust, disgusted
'Are you sure we cross here? It's just a picture of a deer.'
"Go tell the kids dinner's almost ready."
'What goes better with road kill...red or white?'
"How can you cross the road so decisively? I have to stop halfway across every time to rethink it."
Tags:chicken, squirrel, chickens, squirrels, roadkill, road kill, farm animal, farm animals, crossing the road, crosses the road, cross the road, road crossing, road crossings, decisive, decisiveness, uncertain, uncertainty, indecisive, indecisiveness, stop, stops, stopping, stopping halfway, stops halfway, rethink, rethinks, rethinking, joke, jokes, classic joke, classic jokes
'I just invented it yesterday and today I already hit a deer!'
'Oh boy.. WHEELS ON MEALS!'
'Venison steaks for a year! Now, Mikey will tell you the bad news.'
Tags:car, cars, auto, autos, automobiles, automotive, driver, drivers, driving, road, roads, road safety, roadkill, too fast, too quick, too quickly, dangerous, speed, speeder, speeders, speeding, racecar, racecars, race cars, race car, racing, racer, racers, sports car, sports cars, spoiler, spoilers, unsafe, dangerous, speeds
"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"
"Found meat is income."
Tags:tax, taxes, paying taxes, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, found money, found meat, road kill, roadkill, neanderthal, neanderthals, cave men, cave man, cavemen, caveman, cave dweller, cave dwellers, ancient history, stone age, the stone age, early man
Car Crossing Sign