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'Really, Frank... The late news is so depressing - and it's the same thing every night... Why do you even turn it on?'
Tags:armadillo, armadillos, news, reporter, reporters, roadkill, roadkills, road, roads, kill, kills, depress, depresses, depressing, depression, story, stories, run over, ran over, runs over, repeat, repeats, repetitive, repetition, repetitions, accident, accidents, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
This week on The Antique Roadkill
"It would be a lot more fair if traffic would occasionally run out in front of us."
"Are we going to do the five second rule?"
"Be we eat dead animals. You can't go vegan!"
Tags:roadkill, roadkills, road-kill, road-kills, road kill, road kills, vulture, vultures, scavenger, scavengers, alternative lifestyle, alternative lifestyles, vegan, vegans, vegetarian, vegetarians, lifestyle choice, lifestyle choices, food chain, food chains, rebel, rebels, rebellion, rebellions, teen, teens, teenage, youthful
'Boy, this is potent: Even I can't stomach this...'
"Is he still playing?"
"He never heard the Prius coming."
As family and friends gathered for the viewing of their loved one, unbeknownst to them, another tragedy was about to unfold.
'Go figure...He decides to walk straight, and it's right out into traffic.'
'Hey, hon, I'll be home a little late. I'm stuck traffic.'
"Remember - make it look like an accident."
Tags:squirrel, squirrels, mobster, mobsters, hitmen, hitman, assassin, assassins, assassination, assassinations, gangster, gangsters, criminals, crimes, criminal, organized crime, organised crime, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, mob, accident, crime, organized, nature, animal, roadkill, road-kill, road kill, road kills, roadkills, road-kills
'Ahhh...Garcon!...There's a tail light in, la roadkill!'
The Seeing-Eye Squirrel
Food truck creates roadkill
'Well, mom... the good news is we've got something for dinner now...'
"Well, it's nothing to people about."
"Looks like you ran over a porcupine."
"Well, he didn't make it across... but he's made it a heck of a lot safer for the rest of us."
'In memoriam, I'd like to do a little number 'bout bein' on the road.'
'I blame my parents.'
How the tortoise really won the race against the hare...