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"Darn - missed! I wish I had one of those space-based lasers."
"Looks like you're out for the season - you've got a torn rotator cuff."
Tags:history, myths, health, fitness, rotator cuff, rotator cuffs, injury, injuries, repetitive stress, throwing arm, throwing arms, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, zeus, jupiter, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, dl, disabled list, disabled lists, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, mankoff
The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.
Tags:zeus, jupiter, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, olympian, olympians, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, dare, dares, daring, challenge, challenges, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drinking buddy, drinking buddies, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, bar, bartender, bartenders, bartending, dart, dart game, dart games, bar game, bar games, drinking game, drinking games
Zeus lights a cigar with a lightning bolt.
"I hate to be a downer, but, statistically, people are more likely to die of heart disease than by getting
Tags:heart disease, zeus, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, god, gods, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, greek myth, greek mythology, statistics, hit by a bolt of lightning, stat, stats, unlikely, unlikely event, unlikely events, heart attack, heart attacks, heart disease, aim, aims, aiming, bad aim, poor aim, mock, mocks, mocking, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, disrespectful, throw, throws, throwing, bad shot, bad shots
After the breakup of Bacchus, Inc.
A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.
Tags:apartment, apartments, apartment building, apartment buildings, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, zeus, jupiter, flat, flats, prank, pranks, pranking, prankster, pranksters, god, gods, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, absurd, absurdity, absurdities, bad omen, bad omens, struck by lightning, worry, worries, worrying, concern, concerns, concerned
"I used to do it all myself, but now I have my lawyers handle it."
"I believe you know Mars, God of Defense."
Tags:mars, god, gods, greek gods, greek god, roman god, roman gods, venus, zeus, myth, mythology, myths, roman myth, roman myths, ancient gods, pagan gods, pagans, paganism, mount olympus, mt. olympus, heaven, heavens, introduction, introductions, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, religion, religions, rome, roman, ancient gods, ancient god, aphrodite, ares
The God of rain pours water on people.
Tags:mars, ares, greek god, greek gods, greek deity, greek deities, classics, classicist, classicists, ancient history, greek myth, greek myths, greek mythology, god of war, war god, war gods, conflict, conflicts, olympian, olympians, olympus, roman god, roman gods, roman mythology, roman myth, roman myths
Mars reading War and Peace
"He's forever checking his messages."
Tags:mermaids, king neptune, neptune, poseidon, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, greek myth, greek myths, greek mythology, message, messages, text, texts, seashells, phone, phones, mobile, mobiles, cell, cells, mythical being, mythical beings, gadget, gadgets, phone addiction, phone addictions, mobile addiction, mobile addictions, messaging, sms, texting, emails, listening to seashell, answering machine
'Mr. Janus, your hand sight is far better than your fore sight.'
King Neptune accidentally getting drilled in the head.
'These vestals, are they 'extra' virgin?'
'Oh no, a rock god.'
'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'
'Yeah, I guess I have kind of let it go.'
'While Dionysus is indisposed, who wants to take over as God of Wine?'
'At least it isn't a disguised donation.'
Hold it buster
'Hey - loved your shows.'
'...oh...remind me never to go drinking with Neptune King of the Ocean ever again...'