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"The entire West Coast division must go. Make it look like an accident."
'Anyway, to make a long story short, the medical examiner who performed your autopsy was fired.'
"Long story short: you're fired."
December 26th . . . The Returns
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa claus, santa, elf, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elves, north pole, december, december 26th, december 26, the day after christmas, boxing day, return, returns, returning, exchange, exchanges, unwanted gifts, unwanted presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, shopping, christmas chopping, store, stores, shop, shops, sack, sacks, consumerism, santa's helper, santa's helpers
'I.T tells me you've been playing fantasy football on your company computer. I'm afraid we have to let you go.' 'Just for that?' 'That, and stealing my best quarterback.'
"Careful! That's his firing hand."
Tags:firing hand, firing hands, handshake, handshakes, downsizing, downsized, downsizes, downsize, downsizes, layoff, layoffs, lay-off, lay-offs, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements, corporate culture, fire, fires, fired, firing, sack, sacks, sacked, sacking, firing hand, firing hands
"Great news, Hodal. You can stop cleaning out your desk. Mullins has agreed to buy everything."
Thought too far outside the box.
'...How can I trust you to handle multimillion-dollar accounts if you can't even spin a basketball on your fingertip?'
Tags:basketball, basketballs, ball, spin, spins, spinning, span, trust, trusts, trusting, trusted, accounts, account, fire, fires, fired, sack, sacks, sacking, sacked, fingertip, fingertips, finger, fingers, office worker, office workers, work, works, working, worked, worker, workers, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"It's simple enough, Langdon, but I'll explain again. To help pay off the debt that we incurred when we bought this company, we've sold some of you into slavery."
Tags:debt, debts, debtor, debtors, corporate mentality, corporate mentalities, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies, pay off debt, pays off debt, paying off debt, explain, explains, explaining, taskmaster, taskmasters, executive, executives, boss, bosses, ethics, morality, immoral, immorality, unethical, underling, underlings, office drone, office drones, layoff, layoffs, firing, firings, sack, sacks, sacking, sackings, sacked
"Well, I finally did it - I told my boss you said he should go to hell."
Tags:boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements, insult, insults, insulting, fire, fires, fired, firing, sack, sacks, sacked, sacking, wife, wives, husband, husbands, married life, married couple, married couples, supportive wife, supportive wives, bad bosses, office politics, corporate politics
"Those? They're the ponytails of smart-aleck college boys who couldn't cut the mustard."
Tags:smart-alec, smart-aleck, smart aleck, smart alec, smart-alecks, smart-alecs, smart alecks, smart alecs, ponytail, ponytails, college graduate, college graduates, college boy, college boys, trophy, trophies, hunting trophy, job interview, job interviews, competitive workplace, competitive work environment, boss, bosses, fire, fires, fired, firing, sack, sacks, sacking, sacked
"Here – if you dose at the exact moment you get fired, it really heightens the experience."
"We're letting you go, Strathmore. You're an excellent writer, but you're just not the right fit for Two Legs magazine."
'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'
Tags:dead wood, dead, wood, dispose, disposes, disposing, disposed, disposal, disposal, fire, fires, firing, fired, sack, sacking, sacks, sacked, layoff, layoffs, lay off, lay offs, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, downsized, redundancy, redundant, worry, worries, worrying, worried, worrierthe flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"When times are tough we all have to make sacrifices...and you're ours."
'You can keep your job if you can come up with a satisfactory description of it.'
Bud's Coaching Staff Removal Service.
Tags:sports, sports coach, sports coaches, coaching, coach, coaches, manager, managers, team, teams, football coach, football coaches, coaching staff, coaching team, coaching teams, redundant, redundancies, redundancy, fire, fires, fired, sack, sacked, sacks, removal services, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Huggins, our goal is to go green, so we're replacing you with this plant.'
'It appears we've accidentally laid off all the people who 'do' things.'
Santa Claus waiting at an airport's baggage claim for his sack of presents.
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, baggage, luggage, baggage carousel, baggage carousels, luggage carousel, luggage carousels, baggage claim, luggage claim, waiting, sack, sacks, present, presents, gift, gifts, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, holiday, holidays
"I'll have what's left of my people get in touch with what's left of your people."
'We're going to have to let you go...we've found someone in china who's 45% better at being you for 24% less.'
'I'm afraid you're not working out as our risk manager.'
"You know what I miss? Meetings."
Tags:meeting, meetings, tramp, tramps, vagrant, vagrants, vagrancy, street person, street people, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, corporate culture, corporate environment, fire, fires, fired, sack, sacks, sacked, sacking, firing, lay off, lay offs, layoff, layoffs, laid off, redundancy, redundancies, corporate life, businessmen, businessman