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"When using the inflatable slide to exit the aircraft, put your hands over your head and yell weeeeeeee!"
"I think you must have missed a page!"
Lift with your back, not your knees.
"Just because there's no H&S protocols warning against 'standing in a bucket of watet and putting your finger in an electric socket' doesn't man he should DO IT!"
Rhonda has begun to wonder whether anyone actually listens to her safety presentations.
"Government regulations require that we give safety instructions prior to execution."
'We haven't used that part of the garden in years. You should never return to a lit firework.'
"'Do not ignite flares while still in cabin.' SENSIBLE!!"
"Forget waterboarding, son. How would you like 24 hours of in-flight safety instructions in Welsh?"
'Cheryl, not so loud please. Everyone's paying attention!'
Operating Instructions: 1) Grasp railing firmly with left hand. 2) Place right foot on nearest step. (directions for climbing stairs)
Airlines Charge For...Aisle seats, Exit seats, carry-on luggage...
Bob always reads the Passenger Information Card, just to see what it says about him.