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'My teacher sent me. She said to tell you I'm just not myself.'
"It saves energy and makes me feel holier."
'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'
The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon
Tags:spoof, spoofs, parody, parodies, sarcasm, sarcastic, saint, saints, saintly, modern, modern life, modern world, modernity, tech, technology, religion, religious, religious imagery, sainthood, routine, daily routine, routines, pay it forward, inconvenient, inconvenience, inconveniences, inconvenienced, petty, pettiness, effort, efforts, hard, hard work, do your best
"Trust me. It's not a God-given right."
"Haven't I suffered enough?"
"Hey Buddy. A little help?"
"Well when you consider the end result, if I had it to do ll over again, I might just be a real bastard."
Pope Pius sainthood.
"You've got some explaining to do..."
"What, haven't you ever heard of a St. Bernard?"
"The price you're charging me for your miserable soul is quite high. Who (the hell) do you think you are? Mother Theresa, for c****t sake!"
"For the last time, stop saying 'Let's just wing it'!"
Patron Saint of Clowns...St. Pie-us
Tags:reynolds unwrapped, pious, saint, saints, sainthood, sainthoods, canonize, canonized, canonizes, clown, clowns, circus, circuses, circus clown, circus clowns, circus act, circus acts, pie, pies, cream pie, cream pies, custard pie, custard pies, circus act, patron saint, patron saints, circus acts
Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.
'Wait, hold still. You got something stuck in your halo.'
"I'm really excited about this opportunity, but I'm hoping there's room to negotiate the title? What about 'Rise-to-the-Occasion-Mary', or 'Cool-Under-Pressure-Mary'?"
Local News in Heaven
"Normally, we just assume that our seminary candidates are of good character."
"I like it here. It's nice being part of a flock."
"I see you've been a good little girl."
"I see you're of good character."
Tags:saint, saints, halo, halos, hr, human resources, personnel, job interview, job interviews, job interviewer, job interviewers, cv, cvs, resume, resumes, job candidate, job candidates, job interview, job interviews, angelic, angel, angels, sainthood, sainthoods, job applicant, job applicants, character reference, character references
"I was a very good boy!"