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'And right here they merged...'
'Your sales have been so bad lately, firing you wasn't good enough.'
'The sales team did all they could, so I'd have to say the blame for that must fall on the consumer.'
"Well, we're waiting. See any patterns emerging?"
Tags:data analysis, data, analysis, analytics, businessmen, businessman, boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, exec, execs, executive, executives, pattern, patterns, emerging pattern, emerging patterns, data analyst, data analysts, business meeting, business meetings, quarterly report, quarterly reports, profit, profits, graph, graphs, chart, charts, performance, review, reviews, sales report, sales reports, profit report, profit reports
'Your sales are down again this month. For a guy raised by a pack of wolves you're not very bloody aggressive.'
'Welcome to our Annual 'The Sales Goals Are Delusional' Party.'
'Where do I see myself in five years? Well, if I make it through this day...'
'Next time, Featherton, I'd like to see your sales projections without the clouds.'
'I'm afraid your Unique Selling Point isn't pointy enough.'
"I don't like these sales figures. Prepare them in another color and font and resubmit them."
"I love your optimism."
In the interest of bringing greater creativity into the workplace...
'I think I know what the problem is!'
"Could be worse, we could be that guy."
Tags:zebra, zebras, predator, predators, prey, preys, food chain, food chains, sales report, sales reports, sales target, sales targets, sales graph, sales graphs, sales chart, sales charts, boardroom, boardrooms, board, boards, businessmen, businessman, downturn, downturns, perspective, perspectives
"As you can see here, there were a few downticks, followed by a few upticks, finishing off with some antics."
Tags:business meetings, chart, graph, sales report, sales reports, charts, graphs, sales, sales presentations, sales data, sales numbers, sales figures, quarterly earnings, earnings reports, business reports, downturns, upturns, business cycles, business data, business intelligence, line graphs, meetings room, war room, corporate earnings, corporations, analytics, big data, big-data, surprises, anomaly, anomalies
'What do you mean, 'I don't know'? I haven't asked you anything yet.'
"The first thing we need to do is straighten up this account."
"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist pump."
"Our sales have slumped so much, we now have a couch for them."
Tags:salesmen, salesman, salespeople, salesperson, sales report, sales reports, sales slump, sales slumps, business jargon, business language, couch, couchs, sofa, sofas, sales target, sales targets, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, recessions, settee, settees, sales chart, sales charts, sales graph, sales graphs
"And I'm sure everyone here remembers the day last month when that big wind shift turned our scorched-earth marketing strategy against us."
Tags:scorched earth policy, scorched earth policies, scorched-earth policy, scorched-earth policies, marketing strategy, marketing strategies, marketing plan, marketing plans, scorched earth, scorched-earth, sales report, sales reports, sales chart, sales charts, advertising strategy, advertising strategies
"The numbers are in and they're HUGE!"
"And this was the day our Marketing and Public Relations people finally exhausted their supply of 'come-from-behind-and-win-it-all' sports metaphors!"
Tags:marketing strategy, marketing strategies, advertising strategy, advertising strategies, advertising, advert, adverts, ad, ads, marketing department, advertising department, public relations, pr, sports metaphor, sports metaphors, profit, profits, downturn, downturns, loss, losses, sales report, sales reports, cinderella, cinderella story
"How are my sales doing?"
"Now, in order to view this quarter's data correctly, you'll need to put on these rose-tinted glasses in front of you."
Tags:sales chart, sales charts, sales graph, sales graphs, sales report, sales reports, profit, profits, profit chart, profit charts, quarterly report, quarterly reports, rose-tinted glasses, rose tinted glasses, data, data analysis, data analyst, data analysts, economic downturn, economic downturns
And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.