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'I'll be honest, this car is way overpriced, gets horrible mileage, and smells exactly like steamed broccoli. . . it does have dual climate control though!'
'We would like to offer your company the opportunity to become one of our biggest customers.'
'You have lots of money and I have this empty can, so it's a win-win!'
'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'
'I'm sorry, Jimmy, but your father and I don't need any heavy industrial equipment.'
"And of course it comes with an after lifetime guarantee."
"So I sold him six with a 23% profit margin, so what do you think of that!"
'And if you don't always tell the truth, these pants are flame retardant.'
'...Ok clothes, for the way you or someone else could live if you chose to, but you don't so you buy the clothes anyway as silly, sassy statement of defiance!'
'Anyone can sell. It's keeping it sold that's the art.'
''Get a life' was last year! This year it's 'get a while bunch of lives!''
'Now to the layperson this may seem like just a junky little house, but it's actually a really nice treehouse. . . conveniently located on the ground.'
'And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!'
"This cream puff was owned by a little old lady who only settled on Sundays."
Tags:used car, used cars, secondhand car, secondhand cars, secondhand, used, car dealership, car dealerships, auto dealership, auto dealerships, car salesmen, car salesman, wagon, wagons, pioneer, pioneers, cart, carts, wagon, wagons, sales spiel, sales spiels, sales talk, american frontier, wild west, us history, american history
"I loved the part when you said I was a 'valued customer'. Do it again!"
'Sure we can get you in a new car. The trick will be for you to try to get out of it.'
"Don't mention lemons. Instead, say this vehicle was previously owned by a citrus farmer."
'I just love to watch you get the sales staff fired up, Johnson.'
"We only employ first class salesmen because we produce inferior products?"
'Now, that's what I call a deathbed!'
'Are you in the mood to be amazed?'
'Only $5, but it's stuck on full volume.'
'Going inside would lessen the impact.'
'And if you buy this spyware we'll throw in this keyhole shaped monitor.'
'And this model will accelerate to atrociously unsafe speeds.'