Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."
'I'd like a job.'
'Hello young man, my name is Charles Darwin' ... 'Whose bright idea was it to let Richard Dawkins be Santa?'
High security Santa's grotto
'I thought you understood when you took on the job there would be NO Christmas holidays'
'Mom said you had a twinkle in your eye... but it just looks bloodshot to me.'
'We'll go to Santa's Grotto next year, after the recession.'
'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'
'Naughty or nice? I'm afraid I don't really fit into either target audience.'
'Explain how you get the money for your big giveaway scheme, and then I'll believe in you.'
'I think it has something to do with global warming.'
Santas turn up en masse at pub. Landlord says: 'Blimey, is it lunch time already?'
House is covered in Christmas lights. Man uses phone. Wife says: 'I don't mind you going over the top, but do we really need a celebrity to switch them on?'
'How will the current economic situation affect the quality and quantity of my presents?'
'No, of course Santa isn't fat dear. He's just big-boned, like you.'
Watch it, Harris - keep it jolly, keep it jolly!
"I won't be needed a new laptop as stated in my email. I've found one on top of my Mum's wardrobe."
"Get thee behind me,Santa!"
'Well come on!.. Now that the subject's been raised. is there anyone else here who doesn't really believe in me?'
'No, I haven't been a good boy this year. Now hand over your wallet fatso!'
'Bloody tedious pursuit'