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The Great Canadian Novel
Tags:canada, canadian, canadians, canuck, canucks, great white north, people, book, books, novel, novels, literature, author, authors, writer, writers, famous author, famous writer, famous authors, famous writers, book title, book titles, language, wordplay, word play, technology, satellite dish, satellite dishes, satellite television, satellite tv, satellite t.v., television, tv, t.v.
'Since our cable company raised rates for the second time in a year, we're gonna switch to satellite.'
'But on the plus side, I'm picking up HBO.'
Alternative methods of pest control.
Tags:mouse, mice, mouse hole, mouse holes, rat, rats, infestation, infestations, vermin, pest, pests, pest control, satellite, satellite television, satellite televisions, satellite tv, satellite tvs, stay in, stays in, homebody, homebodies, creative solution, creative solutions, think outside the box, thinking outside the box, infest, infests
A Little Knowledge
Tags:tall tale, tall tales, television, televisions, how they work, how it works, knowledge, don't know, mom, moms, mother, mothers, wild story, wild stories, make up a story, making up a story, question, questions, parent, parents, parenting, crazy story, crazy stories, explanation, explanations, feign knowledge, feigning knowledge, feign, feigns, mystery, mysteries, mystery of life, mysteries of life, satellite tv, satellite television, fibre-optic, fibre-optic cable, fibre-optic cables
'I just upgraded to high definition thoughts but there's still nothin' on ...'
Tags:hd tv, hdtv, high definition television, high definition televisions, upgrade, upgrades, upgraded, upgrading, thought, thoughts, abstract, abstraction, abstractions, surreal, surrealist, surrealists, surrealism, satellite, satellite tv, satellite tvs, satellite television, satellite televisions, option, options, too many options
'Your generation is soft. I my day we had only three cable movie channels, one ESPN and it was all crappy analog!!'
'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'
Though hesitant at first, Hank orders the 'Watching Paint Dry Network' offered exclusively through his satellite provider.
'The satellite's going out again!'
Couple watches potential cable company buyouts on television.
'It's too nice to be inside watching cable! Now, go outside and play on some.'
"This is no spur of the moment decision, Mother. I've been thinking about it ever since Grandma got the satellite dish."
Tags:satellite dish, satellite dishes, satellite television, satellite tv, cable tv, cable television, runaway, runaways, running away, run away, run aways, grandma, grandmas, grandkid, grandkids, grandchild, grandchildren, grandmother, grandmothers, tv channel, tv channels, television channel, television channels
'Hello, and welcome to Acme Cable. If you're calling about a billing issue, big whoop. Get over it and pay the bill. If your cable is out, who cares. When it's fixed, you'll know it. If you're...'
'How am I supposed to know anything about the English Channel? It's not even on our cable system.'
'Listen to this. East Side, hole in the wall, $3400.00 per month. Forget it! No cable.'
'We're going back to basic cable."
Tags:cable television, cable tv, cable show, cable shows, cable program, cable programs, satellite tv, satellite television, show, shows, program, programs, programme, programmes, rerun, reruns, re-run, re-runs, cable package, couch potato, couch potatoes, hobby, family finance, family finances, economic downturn, downsize, downsizing, economising, economizing
"But I already get my entertainment on demand."
'Great. I get him the Discovery Dog Channel, now he wants a DVR.'
A day without cable ends badly.
"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."
Tags:cable, cable bill, cable bills, high price, high prices, high cost, high costs, expensive, expense, expenses, costly, overpriced, too expensive, satellite, satellite tv, satellite television, satellite tvs, satellite televisions, television, televisions, deflect, deflects, deflecting blame, scapegoat, scapegoats, scapegoating, car trouble, engine trouble, breakdown, breakdowns, break down, break downs
Bird trapped in a cage with television.
Tags:isolation, isolate, isolates, isolated, modern life, modern times, modernity, social isolation, no man is an island, stifle, stifles, stifled, unfulfilled, unfulfilling, satellite television, satellite televisions, couch potato, couch potatoes, trap, traps, trapped, cage, cages, birdcage, birdcages, bird cage, bird cages, gilded cage, gilded cages, haze, daze, dazed, lonely, loneliness
A tourist encounters a pyramid with a satellite dish.
"There's the pay TV remote... the set top box remote... the TV remote... now where did I put the worth watching remote?"
"I used to complain about being trapped in a cage, until he got his 250 premium channels."