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'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'
'I'm pooped, what say we have a little paper jam in tray two?'
'...by doubling up on patients in the MRI, we're able to cut costs in half...'
"I don't like the look of these. I better send them up to legal."
'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'
'...But first, check out the ham sandwich I had for lunch.'
'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'
'Mrs. Nortman just sent in this fax of a rash that she's got on her stomach.'
'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'
'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'
'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'
"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, security, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, safety, bomb, bombs, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, security dog, security dogs, bomb dog, bomb dogs, luggage, baggage, border control, customs, officer, officers, screening officer, screening officers, screening, security screening, scan, scanning, scanner, protect, protection, dog handler, dog handlers, explosive, explosives, ineffective, useless, incompetent, air travel, transportation, flying, tsa, tsa agent, agent, tsa officer, transportation security officer, transportation security administration, homeland security, department of homeland security, screening equipment, bomb detection, canine, canines, terror, terrorism
"My God, there's been a terrible accident in our Chicago office!"
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, accident, accidents, copy, copies, copy machine, copy machines, fax, fax machine, fax machines, tech, technology, technologies, idiot, idiots, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, scan, scans, scanner, satellite companies, satellite company, multi-office company
'Here, take this pencil. We taped some sudokus to the ceiling in there to help you pass the time.'
'I'm afraid it's stupidity. And it appears to be spreading.'
"Your vocabulary is enlarged."
Tags:lit, literature, literary, literatures, lit major, vocab, vocabulary, words, word, language, languages, brain, brains, smart, smarter, smartness, intelligent, intelligence, brain, brains, x-ray, xray, x ray, scan, scans, scanned, medical, doctor, doctors, consultant, consultants, surgery, surgeon, skull, skulls, exam, examination, appointment, word, words, play on words, word play
"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."
'I'm afraid you're a jerk, Mr. Weatherby.'
Stack your own/Fly to China and make your own/Scan your own.
"No, I don't have a scanner you can borrow."
'Your baby is a girl and holding a cell phone. Apparently, they're texting younger and younger these days.'
'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'
'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'
'Sorry, but I've forgotten your name. Turn around and let me scan your UPC code.'
'Don't forget me in this godforsaken donut hole!'