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'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'
'I'm pooped, what say we have a little paper jam in tray two?'
'...by doubling up on patients in the MRI, we're able to cut costs in half...'
"I don't like the look of these. I better send them up to legal."
"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."
'Let me guess. Your boss sent you a nasty e-mail, and you're composing your reply.'
"I hate to be a dream snatcher but your baby is going to be just average."
Tags:doctor, doctors, maternity ward, maternity hospital, maternity hospitals, pregnancy, mom to be, dad to be, parents to be, parent to be, expecting, scan, scans, ultrasound, ultrasounds, pregnancy scan, pregnancy scans, high expectations, precious first born, dream snatcher, dream snatchers, bedside manner, bad bedside manner, rude, unprofessional
'...But first, check out the ham sandwich I had for lunch.'
"I'm terrible at small talk. Just scan me."
'I have the results of your liver scan. You don't have all your ducts in a row.'
'Mrs. Nortman just sent in this fax of a rash that she's got on her stomach.'
'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'
'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'
'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'
"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, security, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, safety, bomb, bombs, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, security dog, security dogs, bomb dog, bomb dogs, luggage, baggage, border control, customs, officer, officers, screening officer, screening officers, screening, security screening, scan, scanning, scanner, protect, protection, dog handler, dog handlers, explosive, explosives, ineffective, useless, incompetent, air travel, transportation, flying, tsa, tsa agent, agent, tsa officer, transportation security officer, transportation security administration, homeland security, department of homeland security, screening equipment, bomb detection, canine, canines, terror, terrorism
"My God, there's been a terrible accident in our Chicago office!"
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, accident, accidents, copy, copies, copy machine, copy machines, fax, fax machine, fax machines, tech, technology, technologies, idiot, idiots, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, scan, scans, scanner, satellite companies, satellite company, multi-office company
'Here, take this pencil. We taped some sudokus to the ceiling in there to help you pass the time.'
"And this is our youngest, Timothy, who's starting at Hotchkiss this fall."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, hospital patient, hospital patients, brain, brains, scan, scans, ct, computerised tomography, cat scan, cat scans, child, children, son, sons, youngest, diagnose, diagnosing, medical malpractice, bedside manner, inappropriate, medical insurance, expensive, costly, family, families, college, colleges, hotchkiss, university, universities
'I'm afraid it's stupidity. And it appears to be spreading.'
"Your vocabulary is enlarged."
Tags:lit, literature, literary, literatures, lit major, vocab, vocabulary, words, word, language, languages, brain, brains, smart, smarter, smartness, intelligent, intelligence, brain, brains, x-ray, xray, x ray, scan, scans, scanned, medical, doctor, doctors, consultant, consultants, surgery, surgeon, skull, skulls, exam, examination, appointment, word, words, play on words, word play
"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."
'I'm afraid you're a jerk, Mr. Weatherby.'
Stack your own/Fly to China and make your own/Scan your own.
"No, I don't have a scanner you can borrow."
'Your baby is a girl and holding a cell phone. Apparently, they're texting younger and younger these days.'