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'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'
'...But first, check out the ham sandwich I had for lunch.'
"I'm terrible at small talk. Just scan me."
'Mrs. Nortman just sent in this fax of a rash that she's got on her stomach.'
'As you can see, the CAT scan of your brain turned up positive.'
'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'
"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, security, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, safety, bomb, bombs, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, security dog, security dogs, bomb dog, bomb dogs, luggage, baggage, border control, customs, officer, officers, screening officer, screening officers, screening, security screening, scan, scanning, scanner, protect, protection, dog handler, dog handlers, explosive, explosives, ineffective, useless, incompetent, air travel, transportation, flying, tsa, tsa agent, agent, tsa officer, transportation security officer, transportation security administration, homeland security, department of homeland security, screening equipment, bomb detection, canine, canines, terror, terrorism
'Here, take this pencil. We taped some sudokus to the ceiling in there to help you pass the time.'
"I've scanned the horizon for you, chief. This is it."
"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."
"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."
Tags:airports, airport, air travel, air travelling, traveller, travellers, security, security check, security checks, screener, screeners, security screeners, flirt, flirts, compliment, compliments, complimenting, security scan, scans, scanning, scanner, alert, alerts, alerted, alerting, tease, teases, teasing, alarm, alarmed, alarms
"No, I don't have a scanner you can borrow."
'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'
Gravesite has QR code on tombstone
"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."
Tags:couples, childbirth, pregnancy, children, babies, doctors, medical, science, technology, fitness, parents, obstetrician, obstetricians, ob/gyn, ob/gyns, prediction, predictions, pregnancy, pregnancies, infant, infants, baby, scan, scans, scanning, diagnosis, diagnoses, baby name, baby names, abdicate, abdicates, abdicate responsibility, mankoff
Not in the mood for human interaction line
Tags:grocery store, grocery stores, supermarket, supermarkets, grocery shopping, groceries, food store, food stores, shop, store, stores, shops, food shopping, food, checkout, cashier, cashiers, self-checkout, self-checkouts, self checkout, self checkouts, self-scan, self-scanning, scan, scanning, human interaction, introvert, introverts, introverted, anti-social, antisocial, mood, moods, not in the mood, line, lines, queue, queues, modern life
'The sonogram shows that you are carrying twins. I think they're going to get along very well. They seem to be hugging.'
'The tests show it's a boy.. we can't tell whether he'll vote Republican or not.'
"It's a boy!"
Tags:metal detector, metal detectors, scanner, scanners, scanning, scan, scans, full-body scan, full-body scans, full-body scanner, full-body scanners, boy, boys, girl, girls, pregnancy, pregnancies, ultrasound, ultrasounds, gender reveal, gender reveals, invasive, invasion of privacy, invasions of privacy, airport security, tsa, tsa agent, tsa agents, airport, airports, frequent flyer, frequent flyers
",,,,the bad news is that you're radioactive."
'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'
Tags:halloween, monster, holidays, monsters, frankenstein, ghosts, dracula, vampire, vampires, count dracula, diagnostic imaging, mri, mri scan, mri scans, x-ray, x-rays, xray, xrays, scanning, medical office, waiting rooms, waiting area, medical staff, customer service, problem patients, health care, healthcare
"Oh no, that's just his breath-hold initiation signal. It tells me he's ready, plus it makes him feel better."
'Some people find the MRI chamber claustrophobic.' - 'Oh.' - 'I call those people 'the lucky few'.' - 'Ah.' - 'Whatever you do don't think about being buried alive.' - 'Gah.' -
The CAT scanner has developed a glitch!
'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'