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New Studies Show All Foods Bad For You.
Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey
"The research proves tall rats are more confident than short rats. At least I think it does. I've never been good at this."
"A new study reveals this is actually what you've been chasing."
Studies show foods work miracles!
'Now's here's a newsflash. Recent studies show that feelings of well-being rise with income.'
"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"
"We'll take it."
'So in summary, if you harpoon a whale enough it dies.'
Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.
'That's right, Mr. Ferris. For the past fifteen years, you've been the subject of a scientific study. This isn't your real home, I'm not your wife, and THAT is a fake remote control!'
'Please return this bottle to the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration. It is part of a scientific study.'
A recent scientific study has concluded that toast and marmalade may be hazardous to your health.
"So what would you conclude is the primary cause of aggression in mice?"