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New Studies Show All Foods Bad For You.
Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey
"A new study reveals this is actually what you've been chasing."
'Now's here's a newsflash. Recent studies show that feelings of well-being rise with income.'
An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.
'I don't know what it is...I just have this funny feeling like I'm being followed.'
"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"
"We'll take it."
'So in summary, if you harpoon a whale enough it dies.'
Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.
'That's right, Mr. Ferris. For the past fifteen years, you've been the subject of a scientific study. This isn't your real home, I'm not your wife, and THAT is a fake remote control!'
'Please return this bottle to the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration. It is part of a scientific study.'
Studying the effects of little white coats on laboratory rats.
"So what would you conclude is the primary cause of aggression in mice?"