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New Studies Show All Foods Bad For You.
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Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey
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Duh Magazine
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"A new study reveals this is actually what you've been chasing."
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'Now's here's a newsflash. Recent studies show that feelings of well-being rise with income.'
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An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.
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'I don't know what it is...I just have this funny feeling like I'm being followed.'
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"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"
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"We'll take it."
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'So in summary, if you harpoon a whale enough it dies.'
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Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.
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'That's right, Mr. Ferris. For the past fifteen years, you've been the subject of a scientific study. This isn't your real home, I'm not your wife, and THAT is a fake remote control!'
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Speleologist
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'Please return this bottle to the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration. It is part of a scientific study.'
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Studying the effects of little white coats on laboratory rats.
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"So what would you conclude is the primary cause of aggression in mice?"
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