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"Hardly anyone's in the water and still they call me 'Mr. October'."
When the water became colder, little Jason remembered his mothers' words: 'Don't swim out too far!'
"You usually don't see them so close to people who urinate in the water."
"Sorry, water in my ears! What was that?...sharp?...spark?"
Plastic is killing the sea
Man preparing to swim the channel covers himself in goose fat and notices that a man preparing to paddle is doing the same.
"Well, I've heard of a shark attack before. But I've never seen a clown fish attack."
"Honey, look what I just found! It's the shaving brush that I accidentally flushed down the loo this morning!"
The Old Lady Bobbing-Around-In-The-Ocean Classic.
'Careful, there's on helluva riptide.'
Shark paints 'Swim Lane' on side of buoy.'
Hours of enjoyable calm waters were interrupted by the ocean rearing its ugly head.
"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."
"Don't worry, I'm not the bitey kind."
"Honey, stay out of water today. Those waves look awfully rough."