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'Hey, there's an IRS truck out front. And a bunch of agents. I'll bet they're delivering our refund. . .'
"Security's really tight in this building."
Tags:office, office work, offices, office workers, office worker, business, business man, business men, security, secure, security measure, security measures, security gone mad, over secure, too secure, wall, walls, bricks, brick, blocked entry, blocked entryway, safe as houses, brick wall, brick walls, tight security, overzealous, over reaction, overreaction, over-reaction, over react, overreact, over-react
'I hope i did leave the faucet running so the water will put out the fire from the stove I left on.'
Tags:holiday, holidays, camper, campers, camping, camp, camps, vacation, vacations, stove, stoves, faucet, faucets, fire, fires, home insurance, oven, ovens, home accident, home accidents, bad memory, bad memories, poor memory, chore, chores, security measure, safety measures, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'It's nothing personal, we just like to secure our intellectual property, each evening.'
Office of Homeland Security: Beware of Dog
'They aren't even tall enough to reach the doorknob, Ms. Dickson.'
'To improve security I used a two-factor authentication on my account: my social security number and my credit card number.'
'You need a more secure password.'
"Before you come up, dear, don't forget to secure the perimeter."
Help. Forgot All My Account Passwords.
'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'
'Your credit score is a bit low but we can still offer you a loan. Do you have a problem being fitted for an electronic ankle cuff.'
'Well, I told you not to open that attachment!'
'It's just until we get the lock fixed.'
'I already have a home security system.'
'Relax! It's you!'
'I can remember my PIN, password and post code, bit I've forgotten my name.'
All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'
"Would say this tweet puts us at DEFCON 3 or 4?"
Tags:donald trump, trump, social media, defcon 3, defcon 4, national security, us government, the president, president trump, us president, fake news, force readiness, security measure, security measure, defcon system, bad leadership, readiness condition, us armed forced, liability, liabilities, irresponsible, irresponsibility, social network, modern life, modern technology, modern leadership, politician, politicians
Death lets the killer in.
"Looks like they're not gonna make this heist easy for us."
"Look, I forgot the password, okay?"
"Why can't you keep your pin number on your phone like everyone else?"
'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'