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Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'
'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'
'How come I never see you in church?'
'Hello young man, my name is Charles Darwin' ... 'Whose bright idea was it to let Richard Dawkins be Santa?'
'While you're makin' a list and checkin' it twice, how about checkin' ID? Some of these ‘kids' are, like, in their 30s.'
'Oh, you know how it is. I'm good for a while, then reward myself with food.'
What Naughty Kids Get For Christmas.
'Naughty or nice? I'm afraid I don't neatly fit into either target audience.'
'Since we're already here, why don't we save a lot of time, and just buy some gift cards...'
Computer is set up to 'Chat with Santa' for children waiting in line.
'Shame on you for hogging all the toys and making us beg for some of them.'
'He wasn't in, but I did manage to get a photo of her sitting on Santa's laptop.'
'Do you make lots of cash being in three shopping centres all at the same time?'
'...if you've been naughty, press one, if you've been nice, press two...
'HO, HO, HO! Well, Timmy, you've asked for a lot of very expensive toys and I'm not sure if...' 'My parents got to you, didn't they?'
Ralk to Santa: 'Yes, Virginia, there is an honest, consumer-friendly banker, unfortunately, he's a fictional character played by Jimmy Stewart...'
"I'm sorry you had to see me."
Are you a good little girl or boy If not, REPENT today: 'November and December,,,I'm Santa at Macys,'
What do you want for Christmas?
'I want Billy's mother to get lots of baggy clothes. Her skin-tight stuff is makin' us sick!'
'I'm afraid we'll have to get a Santa who can remember his lines'
Have You Been Naughty Or Nice?
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