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'If you trust your search engine more than you trust me, maybe you should switch doctors.'
Doctor, I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead. Don't believe everything you read on the net.
"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"
Tags:self-diagnosis, self-diagnosing, internet search, internet searches, search, searches, searching, symptom, symptoms, symptomatic, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, self-help, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, expert, experts, expertise, medical advice, medical advisor, medical advisors, medical adviser, medical advisers, modern life, modern times, worry, worries, worrying, concern, concerns, concerning
"I'm not feeling too great. Maybe I'll ask WebMD what's wrong with me."
Tags:medical website, medical websites, website, websites, medical diagnosis, self-diagnosis, self-diagnosing, self diagnosis, self diagnosing, diagnoses, medical advice, symptom, symptoms, paranoia, hypochondria, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, medical paranoia, medically paranoid, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, medical malpractice, bedside manner
"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"
Tags:patient, patients, doctor, gp, gps, consultation, wearable tech, wearable technology, wearable technologies, second opinion, second opinions, referral, self-diagnosis, self-diagnoses, self-diagnosing, self diagnoses, self diagnosing, self diagnosis, healthcare, app, apps, gadget, gadgets, gadgetry
"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."
Tags:doctor, doctors, patient, patients, surgery, consultation, gp, gps, self-diagnosis, self diagnosis, self-diagnoses, self diagnoses, self diagnosing, self-diagnosing, healthcare, surgeon, surgeons, expertise, expert, experts, consultant, consultants, patient-care, patient care, medical training, medical school, medical schools
"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, patient, patients, pandemic, pandemics, coronavirus, corona, virus, covid, covid-19, knowledge, fear, speculation, symptom, symptoms, unfamiliar, fear, self-diagnose, self-diagnosing, self-diagnosis, knowledge, virus, viruses, pay, payment, bedside manner, medical malpractice, rude, undermine, undermined, undermining
'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'
'You might be right that your pain results from a misaligned Charkra...but just humour me and let's see if the broken leg has anything to do with it?'
"Are you sure you're not confusing manic-depressive with awake-asleep?"
Tags:manic depressive, manic depressives, bipolar, bipolar disorder, bipolar disorders, awake, waking life, asleep, sleeps, sleeping, self-diagnose, self-diagnosing, self-diagnosis, mental health, mental health problem, mental health problems, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, hypochondria, confusion, confused, confusing
"Give a man an exam and he'll be healthy for a day; teach a man to examine himself and he'll be healthy for a lifetime."
Tags:proctologist, proctologists, proctology, colorectal, colorectal surgery, colorectal surgeries, exam, exams, examination, examinations, self-examination, self-examinations, self-diagnosis, self-diagnose, self-diagnosing, handout, handouts, self-reliant, self-reliance, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, medical professional, medical professionals, bootstraps, pull yourself up, pulling yourself up, teach, teaches, teaching, teacher, teachers, health, healthy, personal responsibility, expert, experts, expertise, learn, learns, learning, conservative, conservatives
"I googled my symptoms and downloaded the treatment to my tablet. All you have to do is follow this..."
'I can't examine you, but your health insurance does allow you access to a self-diagnosing website.'
"You're looking peaky, Doctor Henderson."
According to the internet Harry's growth was a lucky four-leaf-clover wart.
"I don't care if you used the internet for a diagnosis. I did too."
"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."
'Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again.'
'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'
'I can't find anything wrong with you, but watch the commercials on daytime TV...you'll find some ailment that fits your complaints.'
'You're an incorrigible hypochondriac! Go home, take two placebos, and diagnose yourself on the internet in the morning.'
'It's hurtful enough you diagnose yourself on the internet, but then to call me a 'second opinion!''
"I have a pain right here. I think it might be appendicitis."
'I'm afraid you're suffering from over-exposure to medical information on the internet. I'm prescribing that you stay offline for a month.'
'But surely if I'm convinced I'm a hypochondriac that makes me one?'