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"You should see the other guy! He's very big and just beat me in a bar fight."
"The sharp quills protect me from creditors."
Two walkers look on, bewildered, as badgers arm themselves against the cull.
Extremely Lactose Intolerant
"You claim you acted in self-defense."
"I always thought Laura's interest in kick-boxing was purely recreational."
Tags:kick boxing, kick-boxing, kickboxing, kickboxer, kickboxers, kick-boxer, kick-boxer, kick boxer, kick boxers, sport, sports, recreation, recreational interest, art gallery, art galleries, modern art, contemporary art, performance art, violence, flirtation, flirtations, performance artist, performance artists, self-defence, self defence, self-defense, self defense, class, classes, lesson, lessons
"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."
'Sorry, Caldwell. My new cell phone has a 'stun gun' app.'
"I absolutely love the Christmas present you gave me. Thank you for the taser, dear!"
Tags:christmas present, xmas present, christmas presents, xmas presents, tasers, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas, electrick shocks, tasers, present, taser, christmas shopping, shopping, electric current, electric shock, holidays, seasonal, celebrations, christmas eve, self-defence, self-defense, self defence, self defense
"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."
Tags:situational, situation, situations, skill, skills, self defense, self defence, self-defense, self-defence, karate, karate chop, break wood, breaking wood, jiu jitsu, jitsu, bjj, grapple, grappling, wrestling, wrestle, contact sport, contact sports, sport, sports, physical, physically, specific, specifics, specific skill set, exercise, exercises, party trick, party tricks, play on words, word play, word-play, white belt, black belt, martial art, martial, martial arts
'It's just self defence.'
"Bloody carol singers..."
"I killed him in self-defense. I'm not good at accepting criticism."
"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."
Tags:pepper spray, pepper sprays, pepper-spray, pepper-sprays, mutant, mutants, telekinetic, telekinesis, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, super-hero, super-heroes, super power, super powers, superpower, superpowers, super-power, super-powers, self defence, self-defence, self defense, self-defense, crime fighter, crime fighters, crime fighting
"You left your demons here last week."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counselling, counsellor, counsellors, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatrist, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, mental health, mental health issues, mental health issues, mental health problems, mental health problems, demon, demons, personal demon, personal demons, left behind, attack, attacked, beat up, beaten up, punch up, punch ups, fight, fights, self defence, self-defence, violent, violence
"Sometimes he curls up into a ball and we roll him around."
Tags:doctor, doctors, medical doctor, medical doctors, md, mds, m.d., patient, patients, gp, g.p., general practitioner, general practitioners, marriages, husband, husbands, husband and wife, fetal position, foetal position, mental health, mental health issues, mental health problems, bullying, bullied, bully, victim, trauma, traumatic, childhood trauma, traumatic childhood, depression, depressed, anxiety, anxiety disorder, counselling, counsellor, counsellors, counseling, counselor, counselors, therapy, therapist, therapists, curl up, self defence, self protection, prenatal fetus, prenatal foetus
"Is that odorless? No wonder you don't stink that badly."
"Apparently, you're supposed to wait for them to grope you before you take them out."
"Yes, he cut paper, but rock hit him first - that make my client a victim."
Tags:rock-paper-scissors, rock paper scissors, rock, paper, scissors, game, games, hand game, hand games, court, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, attorney, attorneys, defendant, defendants, self-defence, self defence, self-defense, self defense, lawyer, lawyers, closing argument, closing arguments, defendant, defendants
"How long will it be before I feel that I own the night?"
Old lady's walker equipped with boxing gloves to fight off mugger.
Tags:mugger, muggers, mugging, crimes, criminal, criminals, zimmer frame, zimmer frames, walking frame, walking frames, boxer, boxing glove, boxing gloves, victim, victims, self-defence, self defence, self-defense, self defense, robbery, robber, robbers, pensioner, pensioners, oap, oaps, senior citizen, senior citizens, little, old lady, old ladies
"It's my new security blanket."
"Then he said, 'Oh yeah, tough guy, well, what are you going to do about it?'"
"Claiming self-defence was good. Too bad you added, 'She had it coming."