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"The sharp quills protect me from creditors."
Tags:creep, creeps, stalker, stalkers, ex, exes, ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-husband, ex-husbands, threat, threaten, threatened, threatening, self defence, self defense, stalking, criminal, criminals, gun, guns, gun control, second amendment, right to bear arms
Extremely Lactose Intolerant
'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'
Tags:dinosaur, dinosaurs, cavemen, caveman, club, clubs, clubbing, clubbed, waiting period, weapon, weapons, period, periods, wait, waiting, waits, urgent, urgency, t rex, t-rex, tyrannosaurus rex, protection, protect, protects, protected, self defense, fight back, fighting back, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"You claim you acted in self-defense."
"I always thought Laura's interest in kick-boxing was purely recreational."
Tags:kick boxing, kick-boxing, kickboxing, kickboxer, kickboxers, kick-boxer, kick-boxer, kick boxer, kick boxers, sport, sports, recreation, recreational interest, art gallery, art galleries, modern art, contemporary art, performance art, violence, flirtation, flirtations, sexual harassment, performance artist, performance artists, self-defence, self defence, self-defense, self defense, class, classes, lesson, lessons
"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."
No one liked working the red-eye shift.
"I absolutely love the Christmas present you gave me. Thank you for the taser, dear!"
Tags:christmas present, xmas present, christmas presents, xmas presents, tasers, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas, electrick shocks, tasers, present, taser, christmas shopping, shopping, electric current, electric shock, holidays, seasonal, celebrations, christmas eve, self-defence, self-defense, self defence, self defense
"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."
Tags:situational, situation, situations, skill, skills, self defense, self defence, self-defense, self-defence, karate, karate chop, break wood, breaking wood, jiu jitsu, jitsu, bjj, grapple, grappling, wrestling, wrestle, contact sport, contact sports, sport, sports, physical, physically, specific, specifics, specific skill set, exercise, exercises, party trick, party tricks, play on words, word play, word-play, white belt, black belt, martial art, martial, martial arts
Darling, I wish you'd stop the self defense classes, now you've got Alzheimer's.
'It's just self defence.'
"Bloody carol singers..."
"So it's kick-boxing now, is it, Debbie?"
Tags:boxing, boxer, boxing, kick-boxing, kick-boxer, kick-boxers, fitness, hobbies, relationship, relationships, marriage, defense, self defense, self-defense, self-defenses, woman, women, kick box, couples, couple, knock-down, knock-out, knock down, knock out, hobby, fitness, exercise, exercises, workout, workouts, sport, sports, sporting, date, dating
"It occurred to me that there's no rule against having mutant telekinetic powers and pepper spray."
Tags:pepper spray, pepper sprays, pepper-spray, pepper-sprays, mutant, mutants, telekinetic, telekinesis, superhero, superheroes, super hero, super heroes, super-hero, super-heroes, super power, super powers, superpower, superpowers, super-power, super-powers, self defence, self-defence, self defense, self-defense, crime fighter, crime fighters, crime fighting
"Is that odorless? No wonder you don't stink that badly."
"Apparently, you're supposed to wait for them to grope you before you take them out."
"Since I don't have a family, I pretty much use it to protect my other guns."
Tags:gun, guns, rifle, rifles, assault rifle, assault rifles, assault-rifle, assault-rifles, protect, protection, family, families, security, secure, second amendment, 2nd amendment, bill of rights, gun control, gun-control, gun regulation, gun regulations, self-defense, self defense, defending, protects, circular, illogical
"Yes, he cut paper, but rock hit him first - that make my client a victim."
Tags:rock-paper-scissors, rock paper scissors, rock, paper, scissors, game, games, hand game, hand games, court, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, attorney, attorneys, defendant, defendants, self-defence, self defence, self-defense, self defense, lawyer, lawyers, closing argument, closing arguments, defendant, defendants
"How long will it be before I feel that I own the night?"
The owner is motivated.
Old lady's walker equipped with boxing gloves to fight off mugger.
Tags:mugger, muggers, mugging, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, zimmer frame, zimmer frames, walking frame, walking frames, boxer, boxing glove, boxing gloves, victim, victims, self-defence, self defence, self-defense, self defense, robbery, robber, robbers, pensioner, pensioners, oap, oaps, senior citizen, senior citizens, little, old lady, old ladies
"I've been playing accordion ever since I could defend myself."
"I knew we shouldn't have let health and safety run the self-defence course!"
"That was quick. Did you even bother to read his note?"
Tags:bank robberies, bank robber, bank robbers, bank robbery, stick up, stick-up, self defense, self-defense, guns, stick up, stick-up, notes, note, micromanager, micromanagers, micromanaging, hold ups, hold up, gun control, vigilante, shooting, protection, crime, bank tellers, crimes, criminal, criminals, bank teller, quick reaction