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"Read all about it! Falling leaves kill six!"
"How do I feel? I feel that your question is trivial, courts sensationalism, and is designed to appeal to appallingly base instincts. Additionally, it demeans my intelligence. Next question."
'I can't open a paper without reading another grizzly story.'
"It's all roadkill, and never a word about the chickens who get to the other side!"
Tags:joke, jokes, why did the chicken cross the road, bad news, media, media coverage, bias, biased, sensational, sensationalist, sensationalism, journalist, journalists, journalism, complain, complains, complaining, complaint, complaints, gripe, gripes, griping, roadkill, cross the road, crossing the road, exaggeration, exaggerate, exaggerates, exaggerating, danger, dangers, caution
"I blame all the violent cave paintings."
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, violence, violent, tv, television, video, vidya, video games, absurd, media, sensational, sensationalism, sensationalist
Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.
Tags:makeup, clown, clowns, expose, exposes, media expose, media exposes, hidden camera, hidden cameras, hidden camera investigation, hidden camera investigations, investigate, investigates, investigating, sensationalism, sensationalist, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, humiliate, humiliates, humiliating, spy, spies, spying, local news, tv journalist, tv journalists, tv journalism, reporter, reporters, report, reports, reporting
"Here as on a darkling plain swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight, where ignorant armies clash by night, Matthew Arnold, Fox News, Channel Five."
Tags:dover beach, poem, poems, poet, poets, poetry, matthew arnold, writer, writers, author, authors, reporter, reporters, journalist, journalists, sensationalist, sensationalistic, reporting live, local news, newscast, newscasts, newscaster, newscasters, war story, war stories, war reporter, war reporters, dramatic, drama, war story, war stories, war, wars
"I'm shopping my prison video around, but apparently if you don't shiv another inmate or become someone's bitch nobody's interested."
Tags:prison, prisons, prison guard, prison guards, reality tv, reality television, pitch, pitches, pitch meeting, pitch meetings, producer, producers, producing, inmate, inmates, reality show, reality shows, jail, jails, jailing, jailer, jailers, hollywood, hollywood writer, hollywood writers, sensational, sensationalist, jailed, felon, felons, ex-con, ex-convict, ex-convicts, opportunist, opportunists, opportunity, crisis, white collar crime, white collar criminal
A family hides from the TV news report.
"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"
"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"
'...And now, some bad news even for those of you who have come to EXPECT bad news....'
'Looks like we're out of murder, disease, and scandal, but this just in...there's a chance of rain. It's going to rain!'
Tags:news, new, reporter, reporters, tv, television, televised, televisions, sensational, sensationalism, sensationalist, fox, network, networks, broadcasting, broadcaster, broadcasters, journalism, journalistic, standard, standards, death, destruction, mayhem, journalist, journalists, integrity, hysteria, hysterical, bad, misfortune, disease, scandal, report, reports, story, stories, horror, fear, panic, headline, headlines
"And in what could be the biggest development for Hispanics in the history of the United States...hold it...I've just been told Hispanic Heritage Month is officially over. When we come back...hidden cameras in bathrooms! Only on the news at 5!"
"You will die. Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Details tonight...on Eyewitness News!"
"This says the gang problem has been overestimated."
"I don't like the news. It's like they know what scares me."
"Your life is always in danger! You...me...everybody is doomed! Stay tuned for details."
"There are no reports of violence, fear, hatred, disaster, or out-of-control hysteria. As a result, all news programs today have been canceled."
Tags:baldo, local news, local news story, local news stories, bad news, news report, news reports, disaster, disasters, frighten, frightens, frightening, hysteria, hysterics, disaster, disasters, good news story, good news stories, sensational, sensationalist, sensationalism, programming, news program, news programs, news programme, news programmes
"We've been following this breaking news for five hours! Police have received a call that Bigfoot is inside this house!"
"Next! Is your home killing you? Details...after the break!"
"To bring you up to date...we're told a Bigfoot monster is in this house with a child inside! Hold it! The front door is opening!"
"Next on the news...could a Russian satellite crash down on your home, pulverizing everything inside?!"
Tags:baldo, bad news, tv news, sensational, sensationalist, sensationalism, pulverize, pulverizes, pulverising, personalise, personalised, personalize, personalized, crash, crashes, paranoid, paranoia, fear, play on your fears, playing on your fears, anxious, anxiousness, prey, preys, preying, preying on fear, preying on fears
"You don't know how much it would mean to me if you could just jump."
Stock Market crashes then and now.
Tags:economy, economics, finance, finances, cost of living, recession, recessions, panic, panics, panicking, market, stock market, stock markets, stock market crash, stock market crashes, correction, corrections, great recession, incitement, inciting panic, modern media, sensationalist, sensationalism