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"I said, was it Manet or Monet who had syphilis?"
"I'm looking for a card that says 'Sorry about the herpes.'"
'I know you're having a virtual affair - the computer's got a sexually transmitted virus'
"You have to contact everyone you've slept with and tell them they may have fleas."
'Just between you and me, do you really cause warts?'
"Listen. If we're going to be doing any serious pawing around, I want you to start wearing a flea collar."
"I suppose it was very sweet and old-fashioned of him, but, still, it was syphilis."
"I know we're not dating anymore, but I thought you should know I have termites."
'Do you scan them for viruses?'
Zika sexually transmitted
"Oh no! The kids have been making condoms again."
"It's VD-Day. Shall we engage in the traditional exchange of venereal disease?"
'Sorry, the GSOH in my ad stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'.
Uptight Medical Clinic: We treat the whole person, except sexual stuff.
'Be careful what you wish for! I once wished for whiskey and women and guess what I got - Hepatic cirrhosis and syphilis!'
"C'mon, baby. No. You know it's not as good when I wear it."
"Sorry, the GSOH in my ad stood for 'Got Syphilis On Holiday'."
"I feel bad enough that I can't afford First Class, without them listing Standard as STD on my ticket."
"I must have gotten it from the internet."
Zen VD Clinic - one hand clap
"Being ugly and dull has made safe sex a lot easier."
"That bitch gave me fleas!"
"I don't want my colleagues to know that all I did on my vacation was drink. . . I need a sexually transmitted disease!"
"Too much French kissing, I'm afraid. You've got athlete's tongue."