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"Are you sure he's dead? I thought it was just his Bill Murray routine."
Tags:dead, death, deaths, fake your own death, faking your own death, board meeting, boardroom, boardrooms, executive, executives, executive meeting, executive meetings, shareholder, shareholders, bore, bores, bored, boring, routine, routines, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, pulse, pulses, bored to death
"This report to the shareholders….Which is the misinformation and which is the disinformation."
Tags:shareholder, shareholders, shareholder meeting, shareholder meetings, meeting, meetings, share, shares, investor, investors, investment, investments, stockholder, stockholders, disinformation, misinformation, business jargon, financial jargon, corporate jargon, quarterly report, quarterly reports
"Let's just issue last year's annual report and see if anyone notices."
Tags:downturn, downturns, profit, profits, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, annual report, annual reports, profit report, profit reports, ceo, ceos, chief exec, chief execs, chief executive, chief executives, shareholder, shareholders, investor, investors, cover up, cover ups, cover-up, cover-ups, coverup, coverups
'Would you please send in one of my 'yes-man' to break this tie?'
Dr. Frankenstein meets with his investors.
Tags:investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, financial, board, boards, shareholder, shareholders, mary shelley, mary shelly, dr. frankenstein, frankenstein's monster, monster, monsters, igor, horror story, halloween, halloweens, horror stories, boardroom, boardrooms, meeting, meetings
"Try this – I just bought a hundred shares."
Tags:doctor, doctors, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribing, big pharma, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, pharmaceutical lobby, pharmaceutical lobbies, corruption, corrupt, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, exam room, exam rooms, shares, bought shares, shareholder, shareholders, vested interest, vested interests
'And now I would like to depart from my prepared text...'
"I believe the board has successfully achieved its goal of biodiversity."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, meeting, meetings, shareholders meeting, shareholders meetings, shareholder, shareholders, board of directors, chairman, chairmen, ceo, ceos, c.e.o, c.e.o.s, chief executive officer, chief executive officers, board member, member of the board, board members, diversity, biodiversity, biology, science, animal, animals, goal, goals, achievement
'We decided to be more transparent.'
'That's 3 votes for 'When Hell Freezes Over'...now, a show of hands for 'When Pigs Fly'.'
'Could we see some figures on that 'gob'?'
We won't have to face any angry stockholders. We're running our annual stockholders meeting as an online webcast.
'Psst. . . tell me about your 'obscene dividend' fund.'
"About the shareholders meeting, ….Have Hayward update me on the smoke and Crampton brief me on the mirrors."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, meeting, meetings, shareholders meeting, shareholders meetings, shareholder, shareholders, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, money, company performance, board of directors, ceo, ceos, c.e.o, c.e.o.s, chief executive officer, chief executive officers, smoke and mirrors, deception, smoke, mirror, mirrors, trick, tricks, misleading, performance, performances, fraud, ethics, unethical, scandal, scandals, suspicious, questionable
"We won't be mailing out our quarterly report. Our profits were obscene and postal regulations prohibit mailing obscene material."
"My whole goddam MacArthur is in Nasdaq."
'I wanted to get your opinions before I go ahead and do what I want to do.'
'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'
'Today's financial report will be a short one: We had money, now we don't.'
'Whose idea was it that we give our investors full disclosure?'
'Look humble, Jenkins. The arrogant look is okay in the office, but these are investors.'
'The shareholders want more cultural diversity. Choose a s-man, hai-man and ja-man to replace three yes-men.'
'It was a victimless crime... unless you count the Board of Directors and the shareholders.'
'After our last vote one executive pay raises, the shareholders want us back on short leashes.'
'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'