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"As you can see, I'm still in my second trimester of shoplifting."
Home Shoplifting Network.
Tags:shoplifting, shoplifter, shoplifters, theft, shopping, shopper, shoppers, retail, store, stores, shop, shops, camera, cameras, video camera, video cameras, surveillance camera, surveillance cameras, surveillance, security, security camera, security cameras, cctv, closed-circuit television, technology, big brother, loss prevention, crime prevention, television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., security guard, security guards
'Stopped a shoplifter today. Caught him red-handed.'
E-commerce for shoplifters.
"This isn't about your stealing anything. It's about your not buying anything."
Tags:mall, malls, strip mall, strip-mall, strip malls, strip-malls, shop, shopping, shopper, shoppers, shoplifter, shoplifted, shoplifting, steal, stealing, consumerism, consumer, consumer capitalism, capitalism, capitalism, late-stage capitalism, security, securities, security guards, guard, guards, sale, sales, buy, buyer, buying, buy buy buy, spending, spender, spend, spends, officer, on duty, officers
'Stopped a shoplifter yesterday. Caught him red-handed.'
'So Mr. Smith. . . how exactly are you 'uniquely talented' in the field of shoplifting prevention?'
"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"
Tags:security, security guard, security guards, shoplifters, shoplifting, shot, shoplifter, store, manager, diligence, store policy, security, guard, shoots, shoplifter, steal, stealing, police, police brutality, policeman, cop, mall cop, manager, clerk, sales assistant, rob, gun, shoot, shooting, too far, shopping centre, center, mall
"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."
Christmas shoplifting seems to start earlier every year.
"I don't like the security chain any more than you do. Now, quit complaining and come try this one on."
"The clerk's back is turned ? go for it."
"Sir, would you mind coming with me?!"
Tiger was happy to take one for the team. . .
'How would you describe your shoplifting experience?'
"Stopped a shoplifter yesterday. Caught him red-handed."
Back in the days before they had security cameras.
'Go and tell the man with the Eric Dolphy CD down his trousers that's not what we mean by free jazz.'
'Miss Caldwell, call security and send in the kleptomaniac.'
"Funny how your alcohol induced psychosis only kicks in when I need a hand with the shoplifting."
'Watch out for that one. He has sticky paws.'
"Don't, son – once they cross over into meats, they're out of our jurisdiction."
"No, thanks. I'm just looting."
Tags:shop, shops, shopkeeper, shopkeepers, customer service, customer services, customer, customers, shopping, shopper, retail, retailer, retailers, retail shop, retail shops, electronic shop, electronic shops, looting, looter, loot, shoplifting, shoplifter, shoplifters, stealing, steal, larceny, sales, salesman, salesmen, salesperson, salespeople
"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."
'My client did shoplift, Your Honor, but I'd like to point out that an 'Everything Must Go' sign was prominently displayed!'