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Compulsive Shoppers Quarterly.
Santa Land: Low Credit Score and Good Credit Score.
'Wow, this furniture store is overstocked again. And they're cutting prices again. This is like the 50th time this year.'
To prevent aisles form getting plugged up, Food Baron outfitted its carts with shopper prods.
Tags:animal, animals, chicken, chickens, hen, hens, egg, eggs, which came first, first, riddle, riddles, cliche, cliches, science, biology, dilemma, dilemmas, causality, paradox, paradoxes, poultry, problem, problems, next, line, lines, lineup, lineups, lining up, queue, queues, queuing, next in line, cashier, cashiers, shopping, shopper, shoppers, customer, customers, competition, competitions, rivalry, rivalries, competing
"Do you think I wanted to get the paper towels with the ugly borders?"
Tags:domestic, domestic life, domestic bliss, married couple, married, married life, grocery, groceries, marriage, old married couple, household, house, houses, home, homely, household chores, chore, chores, paper towel, paper towels, shopping, shopped, men, man, husband, husbands, husbands and wives, wife, wives, nag, nagged, nagging, nags, fishwife
No Reasonable Offer Refused
Tags:no offer refused, vending machine, vending machines, make an offer, making a offer, consumerism, consumer, consumers, haggle, haggling, shopping, shopper, shoppers, modern technology, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, marketing, marketing tactic, marketing tactics, sales tactic, sales tactics, reasonable offer, reasonable offers, loss leader, loss leaders, coin slot, coin slots
"I'd like to buy my husband a yarmulke of the type worn by Rudy Giuliani."
Tags:yarmulke, yarmulkes, jewish voter, jewish voters, jewish vote, giuliani, rudy giuliani, mayor, mayors, new york, new york city, candidate, candidates, presidential candidate, presidential candidates, fashion, hat, hats, fashionable, mislead, misleads, misleading, shop, shops, shopping, men's fashion, appeal, appeals, appealing, deceive, deceives, deceiving, appropriate, appropriates, appropriation, religious dress, jew, jews, jewish, demographic, demographics, campaign, campaigns, campaigning
Great Books: 5:00-6:00
Man in a bookstore looking at a bin of unwound cassette tapes with a sign reading "Damaged books on tape 25¢".
Tags:book, books, novel, novels, bookstore, bookstores, bookshop, bookshops, bookseller, booksellers, retail, damage, damaged, damages, tape, tapes, audio tape, audio tapes, cassette tape, cassette tapes, audiobook, audiobooks, tape, tapes, books on tape, shopping, technology, rewind, rewinding, sale, sales, cheap, deal, deals, 90s, the nineties, 80s, the eighties, modern life
"Don't click me. I'm just here to buy cards."
Tags:shopper, shoppers, shopping, store, stores, shop, shops, people counter, people counters, people counting, people-counter, people-counters, people-counting, shop clerk, shop clerks, shop assistant, shop assistants, browser, browsers, window shopping, window shopper, window shoppers, museum guard, museum guards, philistine, philistines, pretension, pretentious, museum, museums, exhibit, exhibits, exhibition, exhibitions
Express chair. 12 hairs or less.
Tags:hairdresser, hairdressers, hairdressing, salon, salons, barber, barbershop, barbershops, barbers, express, line, lines, queue, queues, express queue, express queues, chair, chairs, old man, hair loss, losing hair, shopping, shop, shops, shopped, shopper, shoppers, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"
Tags:tailor, tailors, clothier, clothiers, suit maker, suit makers, suit, suits, menswear, fashion, men's fashion, clothing, men's clothing, clothes, men's clothes, invisible, ghost, ghosts, spectre, spectres, phantom, phantoms, vampire, vampires, supernatural, mirror, mirrors, reflection, reflections, no reflection, salesman, salesmen, shopping, clothes shopping, new suit, folklore, myth, myths, legend, legends, creature, creatures, monster, monsters, spooky, eerie
Tags:returns, return, returning, refund, refunds, refunding, refunded, shopper, shoppers, shopping, consumerism, consumer, consumers, consumerist, consumerists, remorse, remorseful, regret, regretting, regretful, mall, malls, shopping mall, shopping malls, shopping center, shopping centers, shopping centre, shopping centres, customer, customers, return service, return service, buyer, buyers, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes
"It's our way of saying, 'Thank you for shopping at Wilson's.' "
"I'll give you a hint - it's sold only on TV."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, birthday, birthdays, happy birthday, gift, gifts, present, presents, wrapped, surprise, surprises, hint, hints, gift box, gift boxes, shopping, sold, television, televisions, tv, tvs, t.v., t.v.s, questionable, suspicious, infomercial, infomercials, commercial, commercials, product, products, as seen on tv, celebration, celebrations
"It's taken me a while, but I can finally see the value in having tons of money."
"You always think this is going to be the sconce that change everything for you."
"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"
Tags:bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, literal, literal joke, shopping, bookshop, bookshops, book shop, book shops, library, libraries, librarian, librarians, shelves, shelf, bookstore, clerk, kid, kids, kid's books, children's book, children's books, parent, parents, parenting, parental, dad, dads, father, fathers, new dad, new dads, new father, workaholic, work-a-holic, overwork, overworking, attention, attention span
"I'd like something nice for my boy at Fort Dix."
Tags:shopping, christmas shopping, present shopping, gift shopping, shop, shops, store, store, gun store, gun stores, gun, guns, vintage store, vintage stores, christmas, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, proud mother, proud mothers, 1940s, vintage, fort dix, army base, army post, ww2.wwii, world war ii, world war two, wartime
"Oh, and would you mind grabbing some eggs?"
Tags:shop, shopping, shopper, grocery shop, grocery shopping, egg, eggs, face mask, face masks, ppe, personal protective equipment, covid-19, covid 19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, novel corona virus, pandemic, pandemics, self-isolation, social distancing, quarantine, quarantines, quarantined, lockdown, lockdowns, locked down, stay-at-home order, stay-at-home orders, shelter-in-place, shelter-in-place order, shelter-in-place orders
Unlike responsible marsupials, Sheila didn't give a darn about the environment,
Tags:kangaroo, kangaroos, roo, roos, australia, australian, plastic, plastics, bag, bags, ignorant, ignorance, waste, wastes, wasteful, marsupial, marsupials, shop, shops, shopping, shopper, shoppers, supermarket, supermarkets, irresponsible, irresponsibility, wallaby, wallabys, the argyle sweater, argyle sweater
"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."
Tags:consumerism, consumerist, shopaholic, shopaholics, shop, shops, shopping, shop 'til you drop, shop till your drop, shopping spree, shopping spree, retail therapy, buy, buys, buying, consumer, consumers, consumption, service economy, service economies, self-taught, prodigy, prodigies, bag, bags, retail store, retail stores, educated, self-educated, brag, brags, bragging, braggart, braggarts, materialist, materialism, materialists
"I'll take it."
Tags:statue, statues, sculpture, sculptures, bird, birds, falcon, falcons, antique, antiques, antique hunting, antique hunter, antique hunters, treasure, treasures, detective, detectives, mystery, mysterious, mysteries, shopping, shop, shops, store, stores, discovery, discoveries, discover, gumshoe, gumshoes, sleuth, sleuths, investigator, investigators, film, films, book, books, film-noir, film noir, classic film, classic films
December 26th . . . The Returns
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa claus, santa, elf, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elves, north pole, december, december 26th, december 26, the day after christmas, boxing day, return, returns, returning, exchange, exchanges, unwanted gifts, unwanted presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, shopping, christmas chopping, store, stores, shop, shops, sack, sacks, consumerism, santa's helper, santa's helpers