Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
"Another glass of absinth? That's your answer to everything."
Tags:absinth, absinths, spirit, spirits, absinthe, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drinking your problems, drinker, drinkers, drunk, drunks, problem solver, problem solvers, problem solving, problem solved, shot, shots, drinking your sorrows, drink your sorrows, nag, nags, wife, wives, husband, husbands, answer to everything
"Oh, dear, I just set the table for two!"
Tags:murder, murders, murderer, murderers, homicide, homicides, gun, guns, shot, shots, bullet, bullets, crimes, criminal, criminals, date, dates, dinner date, dinner dates, maid, maids, wasted effort, wasted efforts, mariticide, mariticides, married life, marital dispute, marital disputes, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, domestic violence, domestic abuse
"I'm feeling a little guilty for having introduced them to each other."
"Two out of three."
Tags:double or nothing, two out of three, best of three, duel, duels, duelling, duelist, duelists, pistol, pistols, gun, guns, pistols at dawn, shoot, shooting, shot, injured, injury, victorian, victorians, unreasonable, irony, ironic, ironically, kill, killed, honor, honour, honorable, honourable, honored, honoured, classic, classic joke, classic jokes, slapstick, slap stick, slap-stick, kill, killed, fatal, fatality, regency, edwardian, word play, words, game, games, competitive, word play, word-play, last words
Tags:criminal, criminals, investigation, investigations, detective, detectives, police, policing, policed, shot, shooting, shoots, murder, murders, chalk, figure, outline, outlines, suspect, suspects, crime scene, crimes, unexpected, surprise, shoot, shootings, absurd, ridiculous, art, criminal, criminals, chalk fight
"Ironically all the guys from the hunting lodge were on the 'Nice' list."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, santas sleigh, reindeer, santas reindeer, santa clauses raindeer, dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen, rudolf, rudolf the red nosed reindeer, hunt, hunter, hunters, hunting, hunting lodge, hunting lodges, tragic accident, hunting accident, shot, shoot, shooting, nice list, naughty list, crime scene, crime scenes
"I shot him and I never remarried."
Shot glasses of the elderly.
Tags:shot glass, shot glasses, medication, medications, medicate, medicating, medication tray, medication trays, pill box, pill boxes, reminder, reminders, day of the week, days of the week, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, retire, retires, retiring, retirement age, shot, shots, drink, drinks, drinking, drinker, drinkers, heavy drinker, heavy drinkers
"Instant message, sire."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, history, historical, medieval, technology, innovation, innovative, message, messages, messaging, instant message, instant messaging, social media, social network, social networks, social networking, old-fashioned, computer, computers, arrow, arrows, shot, servant, servants, messenger, messengers, communication
"Never underestimate the middle class."
Tags:middle class, middle-class, cowboy, cow boy, cow-boy, cowboys, cow-boys, cow boys, underestimate, underestimated, underestimates, gunslinger, gunslingers, fastest gun in the west, wild west, wildwest, wild-west, westward, draw, drawing, quick hand, class, classes, shoot, shooting, duel, dueling, shot, shots, pistol, pistols
"You have brought sunshine to my life and now I must say good-bye."
Tags:gun, guns, pistol, pistols, colt, colts, shoot, shot, shoots, shooting, toaster, toasters, toasted, appliance, appliances, kitchen, kitchens, kitchenette, suicidal, invert, inverted, subvert, subverted, dark, dark humor, black humor, black humour, dark humour, grim, grimdark, goodbye, goodbyes, death, dead, die, died, dying
"No need to thank me, Ma'am-I would have murdered him anyways."
"So, you're still doing the Western thing."
"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."
At The Oblivion Lounge"A double blotto straight up, Dave."
Tags:blotto, very drunk, drunk, drunken, drink, drinks, drinking, bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, barmaid, barmaids, alcohol, alcoholic drink, alcoholic beverage, alcoholic drinks, alcoholic beverages, straight up, no ice, incompetent, incompetents, incompetency, oblivion, oblivious, unaware, unconscious, intoxicated, intoxication, intoxicating, drunks, customer, customers, customer service, drinker, drinkers, lounge, lounges, shot, shots, double shot, double shots
"You don't need English on every shot."
"My low consumer confidence notwithstanding I'll have a double."
"...and you!? Did you like yours?"
Tags:dining, dinner, lunch, chef, waiter, waitress, server, servers, customer service, restaurant, dinner date, gun, guns, gun control, gun safety, gun laws, murder, murderer, death, dying, dead, kill, killing, killer, unstable, angry, mean, bad meal, bad server, bad chef, shooting, shot, shoot, threat, threatening, restaurant review, restaurant reviewer
Morale in the office was up 37 percent since the addition of the new 78th floor driving range.
'Relax. This swine flu vaccine has minimal side effects.'
"His last words were, 'before I die, I must confess I've been unfaithful'. Then I shot him."
Tags:cheater, cheaters, revenge, police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, cop, cops, shoot, shooting, shot, last words, death, die, died, dying, dead, killed, killer, killers, murder, murderer, murderers, murdered, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, hospital, hospitals, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married
'This hole is real deceptive. It's wide and straight and not much of a challenge -- until you get up near that pack of pit bulls.'
Tags:golf, golfers, golfer, golfing, pit bull, pit bulls, pitbull, pitbulls, hole, holes, deceptive, deception, deceptions, fool, fools, fooling, fooled, challenge, challenges, challenging, shot, shots, swing, swings, putting green, putting greens, driver, drivers, drive, drives, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'That foursome ahead of us is still playing too slow. Fire a burst over their heads. Maybe that will get their attention.'
Tags:golf, golfing, golfers, golfer, playing golf, caddy, golf caddy, golf caddies, caddies, golf buggy, golf buggies, foursome, playing too slow, warning shot, warning shots, fire, fires, firing, machine gun, gun, guns, machine guns, shot, shots, shoot, shooting, hurry up, speed up, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"I couldn't agree more - but, then again, I hate even non-lethal injections."
Tags:cocktail party, capital punishment, execution, death, fitness, lethal injection, lethal injections, capital punishment, injection, injections, shot, shots, needle, needles, fear of needles, needle phobia, needle phobias, morality, executions, anti-death penalty, death penalty abolition, abolish, abolishes, abolishing, small talk, mankoff