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You can never escape from stress because... that brainy kid who won your sixth grade spelling bee is still out there...
"I don't know what we'd have done if he hadn't shown up!"
"Mrs. Davis, I think I have to slow down."
'Actually, I've found 90% of success isn't showing up, it's shutting up.'
"This was supposed to be a surprise party for you, but nobody showed up."
"This is for business administration, this is for economics, and this one is for just showing up for class."
"Eighty percent may be just showing up, but the rest is staying awake."
"Whoa, check it out - Bill Murray just crashed our cartoon!"
"I had half a date last weekend."
'That's right! Make me look like a complete ignoramus!'
"Of course he doesn't look his age, dear. After all, toupees don't go gray."
"Your work ethic is making the rest of us look bad. Here, have a 5-Hour Lack of Energy drink."
"Are you the new employee?"