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"I hear they're desperate for new users."
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'Hang on kid...you have to sign up before you get to play with the toys!'
'I'll also need your home address, phone number and social security number.'
"We're trying to decide which new church to join. So tell me, do you wear boxers or briefs?"
"He says he's joining the army to see the world and be exempt from human rights law..."
'This is a lot of trouble! -- Why can't I sign up on line?'
"Remember, the best things in life are free ? for the first three months."
Army Recruitment Centre - Defend the American Dream!
'He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.'
'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'
'That's my man, Ted, signing up a volunteer for the Anger Management Class.'
Sign up today and you get a free turban!
'We'll need your name, address, and accounting firm you worked for.'
In a trade reminiscent of Johnny Damon to the Yankees, Santa Claus signs with Gimbel's for big bucks and shaves his face.
Armed Forces Recruitment - We're looking for a few good masochists.
'This recruit thinks he can make the enemy die laughing.
Sign ip today! ID required: 'No, I won' check your underwear for your name!'
Truth in advertising: MILITARY RECRUITMENT...Cannon fodder wanted.
Military Recruiters...Please help the George Bush legacy. Enlist today!
'Your name's not in our computer, Sir---Oh, dear! I'm afraid you're supposed to be in the OTHER place!'
'We were going to join the army together, but he turned out to be be 4-F.'
It's hard to commit to the army when they remember the dead and forget the living.
They send you to all the places refugees are escaping from.
I think we should stop talking about our target demographic.
'Lose those unsightly man boobs - JOIN THE US MARINES!'