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I'll do what everybody does–sell this startup just before we have to hire a female employee.
Tags:sexist, gamer, gamers, gaming, tech company, tech companies, startup, startups, start-up, start-ups, silicon valley, women in the workplace, geek, geeks, geeky, male-dominated, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, feminist, feminists, feminism, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists, positive discrimination, affirmative action, hire, hires, new hire, bro, bros, tech bro, tech bros, diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, discriminate, discriminates, discriminating, discrimination
"You have to admit that your chip looks a lot like their chip."
Tags:silicon valley, computer chip, computer chips, microchip, microchips, micro chip, micro chips, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, advancing technology, developing technology, techy, out of touch, behind the times, intellectual property, copied product, copied products, theft, business man, business men, businessman, business men, business person, business people, businessperson
"Someday, son, all this will belong to Bill Gates."
Tags:bill gates, technology company, computer company, big business, corporate culture, big businesses, corporate takeover, corporate takeovers, merger, mergers, capitalism, family business, family businesses, silicon valley, inheritance, rapacious, business reputation, hostile takeover, hostile takeovers, business, corporate, takeover, takeovers
"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."
"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"
Tags:company, companies, startup, startups, internet startup, internet startups, founder, founders, racetrack, racetracks, race, races, racing, racer, racers, silicon valley, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, entrepreneurship, racetrack, racetracks, office drone, office crones, office worker, office workers
"Bad news- some kid just created an app that creates apps."
Tags:app, apps, application, applications, program, programme, programming, programs, programmes, code, coding, codes, tech, technology, smartphone, smartphones, cell, cells, cellphone, cell phone, cellphones, cell phones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phones, mobile phone, software, softwares, obsolete, redundant, bot, bots, meta, automation, automated, fired, fire, techy, techie, programmer, silicon valley, upstarts, startup, startups
The Joads of Silicon Valley in Kiwis of Wrath
Tags:john steinbeck, steinbeck, books, book, book pun, book puns, pun, puns, literature, novel, novels, classic novel, classic novels, classic american novel, classic american novels, moving move, moved, movers, dust bowl, gentrification, silicon valley, gentrify, tech bubble, tech, migration, migrate, car, cars, auto, autos, overloaded, overload, overwhelmed, market crash, san francisco, san francisco bay, bay area
"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."
"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."
Tags:menorah, menorahs, hanukkah, chanukah, judiasm, religion, religions, religious tradition, religious traditions, festival of lights, holiday, holidays, venture capital, capital, startup, startups, start-up, start-ups, venture capitalists, miracle, miracles, miraculous, finance, finances, financial, investment, investing, small business, small businesses, financial incubator, financial incubators, silicon valley, internet startup, internet startups, new business, business, businesses, business owner, business owners, cfo, c.f.o, shpasik, jtoons
"First, they take my domain, then they take my domain name."
"The name's Alexa, Who's Siri?"
Tags:virtual assistant, virtual assistants, ai, artificial intelligence, voice command, voice commands, brand, brands, competitor, competitors, tech company, tech companies, silicon valley, tech, technology, smart technology, smart home, smart homes, wrong name, cheat, two-timer, two-timers, two-timing
"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."
Tags:silicon valley, charity, charities, charitable, donation, donations, philanthropy, philanthropist, philanthropists, wealth, fortune, fortunes, generation gap, generational wealth, millionaire, millionaires, billionaire, billionaires, tech, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, business magnate, technology magnate, technology magnates, social magnates, peer pressure, competitive, competitiveness
"Listen, girl. Run into town and go to the sheriff's office. Then make a right. Find the liquor store and get a bottle of 2011 Napa. Do not get the Chilean Malbec you got last time. Hurry."
Tags:hipster, hipsters, wine snob, wine snobs, snob, snobs, snobbery, malbec, napa, napa valley, wine, wines, winos, emergency, emergencies, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, first world problem, first world problems, problem, problems, snobby, elite, elites, elitist, elitists, silicon valley, dog, dogs, rescue dog, rescue dogs
Entering silicon valley, speed limit: 110111
"It's that Silicon Valley foundation- they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."
Tags:silicon valley, billionaire, billionaires, programmer, programmers, tech billionaire, tech billionaires, software billionaires, software billionaires, tech giant, tech giants, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, grandparent, grandparents, modern life, modern times, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, grandson, grandsons, donation, donations, charitable donation, charitable donations
"It's that Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."
"I'm starting a startup that helps other startups start up."
Tags:startup, startups, venture capitalist, venture capitalists, venture capital, small business, small businesses, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, business opportunity, innovation, innovations, paradigm, paradigms, new business, new businesses, get off the ground, getting off the ground, dot com, dot coms, silicon valley, business world, corporate culture, working world
"Is this your first time being fired in 3-D?"
"He's like a Bill Gates without a Microsoft."
Vice President for Obsolescence
Tags:obsolescence, obsolescent, obsolete, outdate, outdates, outdated, outmoded, planned obsolescence, built in obsolesence, built-in obsolescence, modern life, modern times, corporate culture, corporate climate, corporate climates, tech sector, technological sector, technology sector, silicon valley, tech company, tech companies
"Yep, first the gold run out, then the microchip manufacturing went overseas."
"Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk...he combines the worst of each of them."
Tags:executive, ceo, boss, technology, technology company bill gates, steve jobs, elon musk, ceos, chief executive, chief executives, chief exec, chief execs, executives, bosses, technology boss, technology bosses, technology exec, technology execs, technology executive, technology executives, silicon valley, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs
Caricature of a chicken
"My new motto is: talk softly and carry a big man purse filled with wireless devices."
"I'm majoring in computer sciences, and minoring in kinesthetic annunciative aggregates - you, know, technobabble."
Tags:technobabble, jargon, computer jargon, gobbledygook, tech jargon, technology jargon, corporatespeak, corporate speak, corporate language, silicon valley, major, majors, majoring, computer science, computer sciences, college major, college majors, university major, university majors, aggregate, aggregates, minor, minors, minoring