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And that's why I'm still single!
"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."
Tags:bar, bars, drinks, drinking, pub, pubs, cocktail lounge, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, bar conversation, bar conversations, dates, date, dating, love-life, love life, girlfriends, girls night out, bar scene, bar scenes, single, singles, single scene, singles bar, dating troubles, dating issues, dating life
"I hear we went platinum."
Tags:monk, monks, music, musics, single, singles, album, albums, monastery, monasteries, monastic, gregorian chant, sing, singing, bell, bells, cistercian monks, cistercian, platinum, selling, sells, sold, spanish, spain, hit, musical hits, pop songs, platinum album, pop music, popular, purchases, religion, one million
"So, are you here alone?"
Tags:drunk, drunks, drinking, alcoholic, alcoholics, over the limit, drowning your sorrows, lonely, loneliness, single, singles, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, depressed, depression, misery, miserable
"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."
"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, love, dating, dating problems, dating issues, unmarried, old maid, old maids, spinster, spinsters, single, singles, still single, alone, forever alone, divorced, divorce, split, separated, middle-age, middle age, marriage, marriages, married life, growing older, ageing, aging, growing old, adult life, modern life
"Want to skip lunch and cruise Canal for a pair of piano movers?"
"On my way home today on the bus, a lone grape rolled down the aisle and came to rest near my foot. It was pale free and looked to be of the seedless variety."
Tags:bus, buses, public transit, public transportation, transportation, commuting, commuter, commuters, litter, messy, grape, grapes, lonely, loneliness, alone, single, singles, single life, forever alone, daily grind, dog owner, dog owners, pet owner, pet owners, pet, pets, dog, dogs, canine, canines, animal, animals, man's best friend
Sexual Arena Football
First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'
"Is there a maybe swipe?"
"I don't see myself bringing children into a world where I can't get a date."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, dating, date, dates, family, families, kid, kids, child, children, single, singles, alone, forever alone, forever single, unmarried, bachelorette, bachelorettes, having children, starting a family, baby fever, modern life, word play, wordplay
"He's been married before but he has excellent blue book value."
"Single!" "Single!" "Single!" "Wait! I'll get my son!"
Tags:sport, sports, ski, skis, skiing, skier, skiers, ski lift, ski lifts, chairlift, chairlifts, ski resort, ski resorts, pair, pairs, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, couple, couples, love, dating, single, singles, bachelor, bachelors, bachelorette, bachelorettes, line, lines, lining up, lineup, lineups, queue, queue, queuing, pairing off, partner, partners, setting up, matchmaking, matchmaker, matchmakers, wordplay, word play
"He's the guy I'm interested in. He's just not the kind of guy I'm interested in."
"I'd invite you up, but I'm trying to preserve the crime scene."
Tags:invite, invites, inviting, invitation, invitations, crime scene, crime scenes, apartment, apartments, flat, flats, ominous, date, dates, first date, first dates, single life, bad date, bad dates, awful date, awful dates, invite up, inviting up, excuse, excuses, good night, saying good night, single, singles, blind date, blind dates, wild story, wild stories, mess, messes, messy
"My name is Morris Mandlebaun, I'm 28 years old and I want a tell, blond, blue-eyed shiksa."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, christmas, christmas time, christmas wish, christmas wishes, mall santa, mall santas, inappropriate, inappropriateness, girlfriends, single, singles, bachelor, bachelors, lonely, loneliness, shiksa, shiksas, white people, white girl, white girls, christmas list, christmas lists, unreasonable request, unreasonable requests, asking too much, unexpected, immature, immaturity, childish, childishness
"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"
Stan Mack's Real Life funnies: Asparagus Beach, Amagansett, NY
Tags:beach, beaches, seaside, seashore, seashores, beach scene, beach holiday, beach holidays, beach vacation, beach vacations, beach scene, beach scenes, long island, conversation, conversations, chatting up, chat up, flirt, flirtation, upper class, upper classes, pretentious, pretentiously, single, singles, singles mixer, single scene, single scenes, singles market, singles markets
"Maybe I'm never going to find the person I' supposed to do a real number on?"
"Keep an eye on Old Bound Volume of Harpers. He's on the make."
"I'm very, very fussy when it comes to men."
"If I had known I was going to meet somebody like you, I would have lost some weight, gotten some hair plugs, and made more money."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, dating, date, dates, single, singles, forever alone, bachelor, bachelors, bar, bars, pub, pubs, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, meet, meeting, flirtation, pick-up line, pickup line, pickup lines, pick up line, pick up lines, lost weight, diet, diets, exercise, fitness, hair, hair plug, hair plugs, money, job, jobs, career, careers, work, businessman, businessmen, middle-age, middle age, middle-aged, middle aged, introduction, introductions, flaw, flaws, problem, problems, issue, issues, not good enough, self-improvement, self-confidence, self-esteem
"See anyone who tickles your ivories?"
Tags:elephant, elephants, ivory, ivories, tusk, tusks, animal, animals, herd, herds, talking animal, talking animals, love, mate, mates, mating season, date, dates, dating, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, flirt, flirty, single, singles, modern life, courtship, courtships, courting, mating ritual, mating rituals, flirts, flirtation, flirtations