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'My only regret is that I'll never live to see the movie.'
"It's mostly water weight."
'Laugh as Some Might, Carl's Inflatable Tie Kept Him Afloat Until Help Arrived.'
Tags:rescue, rescued, rescuer, inflated, inflate, blow up, inflatable tie, float, floating, flotation, flotation device, ocean, oceans, ocean liner, cruise liner, cruise, cruise ship, fashion, fashions, fashionable, fashion faux pas, novel, novelty, novelty tie, novelty ties, novelties, invent, invention, sea, lost at sea, sink, sank, sunk, accident
'We'll probably hit a rock and sink. But, there's a lot of big fish in this lake, so it's worth the risk.'
An upside-down cruise liner in a bottle.
"Captain, we've taken on strippers."
"Thank God for the elephant."
"Yes, I should have warned you."
Tags:executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses, quicksand, quick sand, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, fired, firing, getting fired, canned, can, canning, getting canned, getting the sack, sacking, sacked, laid off, laid-off, lay off, lay-off, lay offs, lay-offs, redundancy, made redundant, redundancies, downsizing, unemployed, unemployment, sink, sinking, sink hole, sink holes
'I told you it was a stupid idea to try to fix the disposal with your tie on.'
"Do we even have a garbage disposal?"
Tags:kitchen, kitchens, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, tree, pine tree, pine trees, fir tree, fir trees, christmas tree, xmas tree, christmas trees, xmas trees, garbage disposal, garbage disposals, garburator, garburators, waste disposal, waste disposals, sink, sinks, garbage, rubbish, trash, post-christmas, after christmas
"The thing you have to know about quicksand is the faster you shake the shaker the faster you sink,"
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, server, servers, barkeep, barkeeps, barkeeper, barkeepers, drink, bartending, bar-tending, tending bar, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, cocktail, cocktails, martini, martinis, martini shaker, martini shakers, shaker, shakers, quicksand, liquefaction, sinking, sink, bog, bogs, swamp, swamps, faster
"The killer had to be a man. Not only is the knife still bloody—it wasn't even put in the sink."
Tags:gender stereotype, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, spouse, spouses, nag, nags, nagging, careless, carelessness, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, husband, husbands, man, men, put away, puts away, putting away, knife, knives, wash, washes, washing up, wash up, washes up, dishwasher, dishwashers, doing dishes, do the dishes, sink, sinks
'And this is the sunken living room.'
Euro-zone crisis: China to the rescue?
'Sometimes I wish I had never sold my camels!'
'I can't save your husband, but I can save you 20%!'
Ask Us About Our Ordeal
Tags:lemonade stand, information desk, ship, shipwreck, boat, boats, ships, sink, sinking ship, immigrant, immigrants, pilgrim, pilgrims, mayflower, plymouth, plymouth rock, massachusetts, journey, new world, america, united states, colonies, colony, 13 colonies, colonists, colonist, santa maria, caribbean, nina, pinta, voyage, voyages, puritans, spain, spanish, history, american history, european history
'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'
A Brush with Death
'Women and children first!'
'Captain! There aren't enough noodles!!' - (Ship- ACME Novelty Co,)
Titanic Action Figures
Tags:black humour, dark humour, insensitive, insensitivity, titanic, the titanic, action figure, action figures, action-figure, action-figures, drowned, drowning, ship, ships, rms titanic, passenger liner, passenger liners, atlantic ocean, north atlantic ocean, iceburg, iceburgs, shipwreck, shipwrecks, ship wreck, ship wrecks, ship-wreck, ship-wrecks, sink, sinking, sunk, sinking ship, sinking ships, toy, toys, doll, dolls
'That's not subsidence. That's land rising up on either side.'
'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'