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"My head hurts but only when I do homework."
"I miss school...as often as I can."
Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.
"No, I don't believe it's 'Send A Drone In Place Of Yourself Day' at school."
'The first order of business is the problem of absenteeism.'
"I'm a bit knackered, I'm off home. I'll finish off the last bit tomorrow morning."
"I'd like a note excusing me from my wife's childbirth!"
'When we cross referenced your requests for paternity leave and your billable hours it appears that you must have been on the job when you were at the job!'
'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'
'It's snowing, Edna. Call the office and tell them I can't make it in.'
'You didn't all go to Mexico, you don't have swine fly, you are not having a week off school.'
'What cloak of invisibility? Just admit that you missed work yesterday.'
"Him? Oh he's gone out for the night!"
'You missed school today, didn't you?'
Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.