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"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."
"Helen!! I'm sick of watching our pathetic Olympic athletes! Would you hand me the remote control I left on the TV!"
Success Without Effort
"I'm going for a swim. Wanna come?"
'Craig has been in airplane mode for a few years now.'
'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'
"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."
"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."
"I can't believe it...summer's almost over...time has slipped through my hands...life has passed me by."
"I don't get it. I work all day and you hardly do anything. But we both get paid the same."
Refrigerator for the really lazy