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'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'
"Every time you want to eat a waiter, you can't find one."
'It won't be long now, sir. The chef has already sent the chicken a death threat.'
'Forget the waiter...I'm getting a delivery service.'
'In case of emergency break glass.'
"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street!"