Search by Search ID or Tag or use the Advanced Search
"No, thank you. One martini and I'm out like a light."
"I don't see how pulling out a piece of fruit from a pie necessarily validates Jack Horner's self-worth."
'You didn't read the small print, sir - Your ticket restricts you to a seat kicked continuously by a small child.'
"I won it for being lice-free."
'I only just made it before my Dad's vasectomy...'
'Repeat after me, I am small and insignificant.'
Big Dogs, Little People.
'If this can be run by a 4 year old, why wasn't one included?'
"In actual fact, most pubs these days cater for kids." (Toddler served milk at bar).
Kid using books to reach TV 'on' button.
"I used to have voice-activated lamps. It was like having a lightning storm."
"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."