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"Come with me. I've found someone who'll talk square footage with you."
How Trump's brain works.
The words 'Thank you ' take seconds to say, but mean so much.
'You don't have to say hello every time we pass.'
"He'll see you now, but I should warn you â�� he secretly despises you."
'Nice to meet you. I brought that same dress, Carol, but don't wear it anymore cause it makes me look fat.'
'We've only seen your house from outside. You'd never guess that it was nice inside.'
'It's a new idea - a cell phone booth, where people can talk privately without disturbing others.'
'I don't say, 'Have a good one,' but somewhere in this phone I have an app that says it for me.'
New product: Faux-Pas eliminator
'Honestly. I can't take you anywhere!'
'People who read in the same room with people trying to watch TV are inconsiderate!'
'I'm sending out thank-you cards for our party; some thanks for coming and some thanks for leaving.'
Impasse in the corridor of the National Society of Common Courtesy.
'Only water I'm afraid - we were relying on you, as dinner guests, to bring a bottle of wine...'