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"He's from Texas."
Tags:deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, religious, god, religions, religious imagery, hell, hellish, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, underworld, under world, hades, demon, horn, horns, horned, texas, texan, bigger in texas, do it big in texas, big, bigger is better, cowboy, cow boys, southern, southerners, deep south, region, regions, regional, south america, america
"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."
Tags:western, westerns, cowboy, cowboys, country, country singer, country music, music, musician, musicians, musical, musically, guitar, guitars, ten gallon hat, 10 gallon hat, cowboy hat, play on words, word-play, word play, headache, rebuff, married life, marriage, date, dates, dating world, heartache, ache, headache, country and western, country western, south, southern, deep south, rebuff, sad song, sad songs, depressing, depressing song, depressing songs, breakup song, breakup songs
"Two martinis straight up, Louis, and some good republican pork rinds."
Tags:pub, pubs, bar, bars, bartender, bartenders, bartending, pork, pork crackling, pork cracklings, pork greave, pork greaves, pork scratchings, pork scratching, pork rind, pork rinds, pig skin, fried pig skin, customer service, republican, republicans, southern, southern food, food, foods, snack, snacks, pub snack, pub snacks
Last Chance For Reality
"'Nother load of tobacco money headin' north, Ma." "Yep."
"I don't think I ever before-realized the distinct difference between northern and southern California."
Tags:california, states, state, northern, north, south, southern, regional, region, regions, different, difference, differences, urban, urban life, city, cities, city life, rural, rural living, countryside, life in the country, life in the countryside, pastoral, intellectual, calm, quiet, peaceful, environment, nature, gaudy, loud, flashy, materialistic, crowded, la, l.a., los angeles, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, travel, car, cars, driving, road trip, road trips
Wrong Side of the Equator
I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.
General Store Modernises
Tags:tech, technology, internet, the internet, consumerism, consumer culture, consumers, consumer, world wide web, www, dot com, dotcom, general store, store, general stores, sign, signs, signage, computer, computers, store, country, the country, midwest, mid west, mid-west, wild west, western, westerns, old west, deep south, southern, the south, southerners, southerner, modernise, modernised, modernises, modernizes, modernized, modernize, porch, porches, on the porch, sitting on the porch, storefront, shop, shops, shopping, upgrade, upgrades, upgrading, culture, culture clash
'Where's the nearest bar?' 'Oh, they's been hibernatin' fer weeks!'
Little Red Riding Hood in Dallas
Tags:dallas, texas, southern, south, american south, us, america, united states, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, brothers grimm, little red riding hood, red riding hood, wolf, wolves, grannies, grandma, grandmas, nana, nanas, nan, nans, tacky, big hair, hair, hairstyle, hairstyles, style, hairdo, beauty, make-up, wig, wigs, modern fairy tale, modern fairytale, visiting grandma, visiting nan, visiting nana
'It's no use Jim-Bob. Ever since I got that gap between my teeth fixed, I can't play the banjo!!
"Good morning, everyone!"
Tags:drive by, drive by shooting, drive-by, drive-by shooting, gun, guns, gun law, gun laws, second amendment, right to bear arms, gun control, violence, shoot, shooting, shootings, pistol, rifle, rifles, pistols, mass shooting, mass shootings, school shooting, school shootings, gun safety, radio, radio host, radio hosts, radio show, radio shows, host, hosts, redneck, rednecks, white trash, hillbilly, hillbillies, southern, southerner, republican, republicans, bullet, bullets
“Sightings to date of Tilda Swinton in Kansas: Zero"
Tags:kansas, deserted, wasteland, empty, rural, in the sticks, outback, country, countryside, road, long road, south, southern, mid west, midwest, mid-west, bible belt, desolate, state, states, celebrity, celebrities, paparazzi, papped, paparazzo, fame, famous, famous figures, pop culture, culture, movie, movies, film, films, cinema
A Redneck Christmas
Tags:yank, yankee, yankees, whack-a, whack, whack a, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, cliche, cliches, mid west, south, the south, southern, southerners, deep south, texan, texas, texans, word play, play on words, word-play, cliche, cliches, divide, division, divided, divisions, civil war, america, american, social
"And just where did that extra vowel come from?"
Tags:cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, south, deep south, southern, south america, midwest, historical, history, american history, game, games, poker, pokers, scrabble, scrabbles, cheat, caught, caught red handed, inversion, invert, inverted, subvert, subversion, subverted
"You have a problem with vegans, Tex?"
"I'm going to get my old dog, get an old pickup, a double-barrelled shotgun, get my old pink cotton print dress, and get back on Route 66!"
Tags:argue, arguing, argument, run away, running away, run-away, annoyed, annoy, angry, angered, youth, southern, southerner, south, shotgun, shotguns, pickup, truck, trucks, mid life crisis, mid-life crisis, mid-life, marriage, married, tired, fed up, youthful, reminisce, nostalgia, nostalgic, fed-up, done, had enough, road trip, roadtrip, road trips
High Stakes Texas Hold 'Em
Tags:poker, poker player, card, cards, gamble, gambling, stakes, raise the stakes, high stakes, hold em, texas, texan, texans, bear, bears, grizzly, grizzly bear, brown bear, black bear, texas hold 'em, texas hold em, imagery, visual gag, play on words, words play, slang, cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, horseback, bronco, broncos, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, modern, modern life, modernity, yehaw, cowboy hat, hat, 10 gallon hat, ten gallon hat, pants, chaps, deep south, southern, southerner, southerners
"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"
Tags:cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, commute, commuter, commuting, commutes, horseback, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, brokeback, married, married life, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtq+, south, southern, south america, deep south, love, loving, romance, romantic, role play, roleplay, bedroom, bedroom scenes, top, bottom, fil, films, movie, movies, cinema, pop culture, pop culture reference
"All of our menu items have a tobacco-juice base."
Tags:menu, menus, bartender, diner, diners, bartenders, hillbilly, redneck, drink, drinks, drinking, drinker, gross, disgust, revolting, chewing, chewed, chewing tobacco, tobacco-juice, tobacco juice, bartenders, rednecks, south, southern, cocktail, cocktails, cocktail bar, grim, disappointment, repulsive