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Berlitz guide to Scamese
'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'
'I finally got rid of all my junk mail.' - 'You have no new messages.' - 'On reflection, I miss the false sense of popularity.'
Spam in Hell.
"All that spam from African diplomats offering you $15 million - they're him."
"Whew! I've had a rough day! I've been on the computer for 8 hours straight!"
"Okay people, we're opening the lines to your emails, so let us know what you're thinking!"
'I'm drowning in Spam!'