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'Our master is getting his eyes fixed.'
"It's not you, babe—I've been neutered."
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, man, woman, women, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, breakup, breakups, breaking up, broken up, broke up, split up, splitting up, separate, separated, separating, neutered, spay, spayed, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, talking dog, talking dogs, talking animal, talking animals, animal, animals
"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"
"We had him neutered,"
Tags:alice's adventures in wonderland, through the looking-glass, alice, wonderland, lewis carroll, tweedledum, tweedledee, cheshire cat, smile, smiles, frown, frowns, sad, mad, angry, upset, depressed, depression, spay, spaying, spayed, neuter, neutering, neutered, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, fiction, fictional character, fictional characters, character, characters, literature, classic literature, book, books, novel, novels, literary character, literary characters, book character, book characters, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors
"Can I borrow those kittens for an hour? I want to freak out the people who had me spayed."
Tags:cats, freak out, kittens, spayed, pets, spayed, neutered, fixed, cat, pet, prank, pranks, pranking, kitten, offspring, baby, babies, freaks out, freaking out, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, responsible, responsibility, frighten, frightens, frightening, family planning, birth control
'Oh, no, I'd never have kids. I couldn't deal with the stretch marks!'
'Do you know the three most important words in the world?'
"Look what they did to her! We should be thankful they only had us spayed."
'Why is it he never understands sit,stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'
"I don't like tattoos on men, unless it's an 'N' inside his ear...means he's neutered."
Tags:pets, pet, cat, cats, feline, felines, spay, spays, spayed, bar, pub, girl talk, girl talks, gossip, gossips, gossiping, night out, nights out, neutered, neuter, neuters, tattoo, tattoos, tattooed, dates, date, dating, attraction, attractions, attract, attracts, frank discussion, frank discussions
"Leave my private parts alone, and I'll let you exploit me as a talking dog."
'You see? The name of the store is 'DOG NUTS'.'
"Look, it's not you, it's me. I don't know if it was the medication the vet gave me the other day or what, but all of a sudden, I just fell out of love with you."
So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse...
'And why do you want to change your name to 'Stupid'?'
'... and remember. The league is cracking down on violence. If you start a fight, you'll be sent right to the penalty box to be neutered.'
Tags:violent sport, violent sports, violence, ice hockey, hockey player, hockey players, ahl, american hockey league, national hockey league, nhl, penalty box, penalty boxes, penalty, penalties, neuter, neutered, spay, spayed, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
'Luke's lost it. He's not aggressive. He won't hustle. His whole attitude has mellowed. ... He never should have got himself spayed.'
Tags:dog, dogs, canine, canines, aggression, aggressions, aggressive, testosterone, neuter, neutered, neutering, baseball, base ball, hustle, hustles, hustling, hustlers, hustled, spay, spays, spayed, spaying, the snip, attitude, attitudes, mellow, mellows, mellowing, mellowed, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
"He's much more domesticated since I cut off his testicles."
Tags:neuter, neuters, neutering, spayed, spaying, spay, spays, domestic, domesticated, cupcake, cupcakes, cake, cakes, sweet tooth, sweet-tooth, pudding, puddings, baking, gender stereotype, house husband, house husbands, gender role, gender roles, house-husband, house-husbands, testosterone, male stereotype, male stereotypes
"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"
'Hey fellas! I'm going to get fixed - I didn't even know I was broken!'
'I'm so glad I had him neutered - now he sits quietly with me and watches the soaps.'
'So, you've been under the knife as well?'
Man wears shirt: 'I Love My Cat' Woman wears shirt, 'I spade my Dog'.
'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'