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Man on podium addressing a crowd of people waiting to speak.
"What's the point of living if you're never asked to give a TED Talk?"
"Bottom line - don't forget to lie."
'I used to be afraid of public speaking, but since I realised everyone falls asleep after 15 minutes...'
'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'
'In closing, I'd like to quote myself.'