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"Do I belive in ESP...I thought you siad ESPN."
'I remember when you used to look at me like that,'
"Chivalry actually isn't dead. It's on life support being fed by the sports channels."
'Because it's a wedding program. It's not supposed to list everyone's height and weight.'
'He calls it his Olympic legacy, he thought the games went on for 3 weeks.'
'You appear to have 'sports bar neck', from watching TV high over the bar...'
'Next, to Fargo, for the exciting World Championship of Musical Chairs!'
'What happened?' - 'He was knocked out when they threw in the towel.'
'You see, they are supposed to hit the white ball into that little hole over there.' - 'Why?'
Man Runs to the Television to Zap it Off.
'We interrupt our regular programming to bring you the football season....'
"I guess I should not have made my support known for cutting school funding for sports programs, Igor."
"What do you mean it's all sport, sport, sport? You love the adverts."
"$45 for science class, $34 for math, $64 for art class and $87 for English!?! What the heck does my tax money pay for?"