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"Tommy and Ben are like Green Berets, Dan and Jerry are Navy Seals and me and Scott are like private contractors."
The day the government stepped in to ensure our water was safe.
"It was one of these light bulb moments! I now carry a water pistol to defend myself against the cat..."
Woman squirts water on a smoker in the toilet.
'It's the only way he'll take his medicine.'
Gracie tries to invent a shrinking spray and squirts Baldo with it.
"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."
"I can destroy your bank of knowledge with one blast from my destructo-beam!"
"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up way out here!"
'Died of a self-inflicted ear infection. He'd been depressed recently. I should never have let him buy that squirt gun.'
The Government today banned the manufacture and sale of squirt guns, 'just in case.'