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'In my proposed management reorganization plan, we shuffle our desks around like this, really FAST, announce we've made a 50% staff reduction, and hope nobody notices!'
Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!
"Tell me the truth. Am I being downsized?"
"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."
"The stockholders may view layoffs as a positive step in firming up our bottom line, but what happens when they find out we aren't producing anything?"
'I think you misunderstood us...when we said 'no cuts in the NHS' we clearly meant 'catastrophic cuts and savage staff reductions.'
"Please have a seat Barker. The board have asked me to discuss the latest staff reduction strategy with you."
'How do we handle staff cuts? We make sure there is a first-aid kit in every office.'
'We don't need management consultants, we let the detiny decide: You're fired... you're fired... you're fired...'
"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."
"So then I hit upon an idea as an alternative to layoffs."
I'm planning to can a few people.
"We're the downsized sales staff."