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'I think he needs to work a little more on giving feedback.'
'It appears that you're just not a team player...'
'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'
'You're out here because you're supposed to receive a performance review? I'm out here because I'm supposed to give one!'
'Accounting has calculated how much we've paid you compared to how much work you've done. You owe the company $53, 972.'
'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'
'We would like to see you put a little more worry into your work.'
'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'
'Would I be safe in assuming we've reached the end of my performance evaluation?'
'Your drug test results show you aren't taking any performance enhancing drugs. Your performance review results shows that maybe you should.'
'Should you ever wish to give me feedback on my performance as your supervisor, Timmons, please don't let the fact that I am a nightmarish demon spawned in the blackest pits of hell discourage you.'
'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'
'I've cleared my desk to focus on you.'
'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'
'You need improvement. I've heard good things about you.'
'How long have you been working here?' - 'Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.'
...and this was that really cute kitty cat video on YouTube.
'I hope you don't mind constructive criticism... you're fired.'
A system of appraisal gives staff an opportunity to discuss their work objectives...
Boss: 'Yes, I did say you had potential - the problem is you don't seem to have quite as much of it as I originally thought you did!'
The grim sweeper shows just how clean a new broom could sweep.
'First, we'll do a job performance preview.'