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'I think he needs to work a little more on giving feedback.'
'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'
'Should you ever wish to give me feedback on my performance as your supervisor, Timmons, please don't let the fact that I am a nightmarish demon spawned in the blackest pits of hell discourage you.'
'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'
'You need improvement. I've heard good things about you.'
'Of course, Mr. Handley here is the one who does all the hiring and firing.'
'We all have to cut back - I'm giving up the pleasure of giving you a bonus.'
'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'
'I told you, you don't get to see your personnel evaluation until we're finished with it.'
'I take it his performance review went well.'
'In reviewing your work record, I'm wondering if you actually work here.'
'Leaving twice a day to get milked is impacting your job performance.'
'Lucky you, you got out before they really downsized us.'
'But you just has a raise back in 1970.'
'Your attention span is not very long.'
'You remind me a lot of my son, Pemberton...a lazy, worthless, no good illegitimate bastard.'
'You're somewhere between how good you think you are...to how bad I know you are.'
'Thankfully he's too stupid to realize how stupid he is.'
'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'
'Your job valuation report was terrible and you're being fired! Use the basement exit!'
'Does this mean you're unhappy with my work?'
'Productivity has been flat since we hired the beaver and the sloth to job share.'
'I think you're going to have to explain what 'being transitioned out of the company' means...'