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'Now that you're 10, we can tell you the truth: beauty isn't actually in the eye of the beholder, there are international standards... and you haven't met them.'
"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"
Tags:play, plays, grump, grumps, grumpy, grumpiness, cynic, cynics, cynical, downer, downers, depressed, depressing, depression, hard to please, difficult to please, play, plays, playhouse, playhouses, mood, moods, moody, moodiness, picky, pickiness, high standards, standard, standards, bicker, bickers, bickering, fight, fights, fighting, argument, arguments, arguing
Tags:standard, standards, song, songs, driving song, driving songs, driving music, driver, drivers, road trip, road trips, shift, shifts, gear shift, gear shifts, car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, radio, driving music, classic, classic rock, punk rock, dad, dads, father, fathers, parent, parents
"This is what happens when ethical standards are set artificially high."
Tags:ethics, ethic, ethical, white collar crime, white collar criminals, crime, crimes, criminals, jail, jails, jailed, prison, prisoners, prisoner, jail cell, jail cells, prison cell, prison cells, incarceration, incarcerated, standards, standard, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, moral, morals, morality, virtue, virtuous, virtues, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, convicted
"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."
Tags:dinner and a movie, dinner date, dinner dates, bad food, italian food, date, dates, dating, bad date, bad dates, disappoint, disappoints, disappointing, disappointment, disappointments, italian, eat out, eats out, eating out, standard, unexciting, bore, bores, boring, unexceptional, unremarkable, letdown, letdowns
"When I was seventeen..."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, insect, insects, bug, bugs, fly, flies, housefly, houseflies, song, songs, jazz, jazz music, jazz musician, jazz musicians, classic, classics, standard, standards, cicada, cicadas, hatch, hatches, hatching, entomologist, entomologists, entomology, magicicada, periodical cicada, periodical cicadas, biology, biologist, biologists, singer, singers, singing, vocalist, vocalists
'I have nothing against the old standard. But I get more laughs with the bolo tie.'
"Oh, great! Here comes Valerie to raise the bar."
Tags:women, women's group, mothers, mother, mom, moms, mum, mums, socialise, socialising, socialised, socialize, socializing, socialized, visit, visits, visiting, courtesy, courtesies, courteous, baking, bake, bakes, bake sale, friend, friendship, friendships, friendly, unfriendly, companion, companions, dislike, like, disliked, annoyed, annoy, annoying, annoyance, raise the bar, standard, standards, charity, fundraiser, community, communities
Mr. Clean Enough
Tags:hygiene, hygienic, clean, cleaner, cleanliness, cleaning, chore, chores, household, household chores, housekeeping, house keeping, vacuum, vacuuming, hoover, hoovering, dusting, dust, dirt, grime, house, home, homes, good enough, reasonable, expectations, standard, standards, high standards, low standards, lower expectations, low expectations, high expectations, realistic, realistically
"First you make a left, then you make a right, then you turn around and turn around with all your might. You put your left foot out and then you bring it back, and that's what I call ballin' the jack."
"Big deal, an A in math. That would be a D in any other country."
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, mark, marks, grade, grades, report card, report cards, report, reports, math, maths, mathematics, test, tests, testing, academic, academics, academic standing, academics standings, international, foreign, comparison, comparisons, compare, comparing, rank, ranks, ranking, score, scores, elementary, primary, intelligence, standard, standards, curriculum, curricula, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american, country, countries, modern life
'Your assignment, should you choose to accept, is to increase educational standards while support services dwindle.'
'Correct...Now do it again, and this time, with feeling.'
First Class Travel
Tags:travel, travels, traveling, travelling, traveller, traveler, travelers, travellers, traveled, travelled, first class, standard, standby, flight, flights, travel company, travel companies, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, townhouse, townhouses, condo, condos, condominium, condominiums, travel agencies, travel agency, class, money, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, tour, tours, tourist, tourists
'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'Vocabulary'?'
'We're from the Galactic Bureau of Standards, and this planet is WAY out of compliance!'
Welcome to Flower Ridge - Traditional values strictly enforced.
Tags:traditional, traditionalist, traditionalists, traditional values, values, conservative, social conservative, social conservatives, socially conservative, gated community, gated communities, moral, morals, standard, standards, community standards, enforcement, social more, social mores, upper class, upper classes, snob, snobs, snobbery
US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'
'The access didn't meet our standards...you should find an alternative practice in Botherington, 20 miles down the A465'
"I think I'll let my hair grow."
Tags:married, married life, mid life, midlife, mid-life, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, women, body image, ad, ads, advertise, advertising, advertisement, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, impossible, standard, standards, advertisements, unlikely, hair, hair care, long hair, growth, growing, beauty, beautiful, product, products, marketing, marketting, brand, brands, branding, commercial, commercials, consumer, consumerism, televisions, television, tv, t v, t.v., t.v
"The trailer didn't live up to the teaser."
Tags:movie, movies, film, films, trailer, trailers, teaser trailer, teaser trailers, teaser, teasers, hollywood, la, l a, los angeles, movie industry, film industry, expectations, expectation, live up to, hype, hyped, overhyped, over-hyped, over hyped, disappoint, disappointing, disappoints, disappointed, disappointingly, standards, standard, pop culture, culture
"I was with you right up to the cumin."
Tags:cooking, cookery, cook, cooks, cooked, homecook, home cook, homecooked, home cooked, home cooking, homecooking, backseat, backseat driver, backseat driving, spice, spices, prefere, preference, preference, passremarkable, passing remarks, remark, remarked, complain, complaint, beggars can't be choosers, cumin, cookbook, cookbooks, married life, marriage, married, couple, couples, food, foodies, foodie, food lover, food lovers, food blogger, food bloggers, chef, chefs, standard, standards, high standards, expectation, what do you expect
"Bummer. Let's try the castle down the road."
"Excellent, but not fit for a king."
"Excuse me—does this joke need a lawyer?"
Tags:joke, jokes, punchline, punch line, punch-line, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotype, classic, classic, standard, standard, joke theory, comedy theory, comedy, comedic value, jumper, jumped, jump, don't jump, high rise, high-rise, skyscraper, suicide, suicidal, great depression, servicemen, serviceman, service man, service men, diverse, diversity, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, police man, police officer, police, officer, cop, cops, fireman, firemen, fire fighter, fire fighters, lawyer, lawyers