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In 5 Years...
'Apparently ALL office equipment must be tested by a qualified electrician EVERY year!'
"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"
'I ran out of needles, but this should do the trick just fine.'
Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'
' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'
"That staple could stand to be an eighth of an inch higher."
'Witnesses were shocked to discover, it was not a beached whale, just a giant stapler..'
'Can you operate any office machines OTHER than staplers and paper clips'
'Next time, ask.'
101 uses of a dead cat: stapler.
"I know you're territorial, but you can't growl when someone uses your stapler."
"Got your e-mail and the answer is yes, I can pass you the stapler."
"Since the merger we've managed to engotiate joint strategy, budgets, and client support...But they still can't agree on who has the office stapler."